Tuesday 2/1/22

5:36am .I had a good night despite being kept up until past eleven. I must of been tired because I went right to bed. I had another very weird dream where I was dressed as a woman. I was going to college at West L, majoring in accounting. I wasn’t doing very well in the accounting class. I was talking to a teacher about changing majors. I was practically in tears saying I just can’t get the course. I told him I wanted to try psychology. He sugested I drop out of school entirely and go to a trade school.

I had other weird dreams but don’t want to talk about them. I don’t know why but I have a lot of dreams where I’m dressed as a woman. It is really embarrassing to talk about. I don’t do that kind of thing and don’t understand why I have those dreams. They are very disturbing to m. Oh well, thank God they are only dreams.

I had a nice aid this morning. She got me out of bed and into my wheelchair. I could of slept some more since I was up late last night. At least I’m wake and above the dirt. But I will have to wait until they serve coffee with breakfast. That is the sucky part.

It is sin now. Breakfast won’t be for another hour. I swear the time Ithey put me in my chair and the time they serve coffee is the longest time of the day. Can’t even function or think right without my morning coffee. In short I feel like total crap. I want my caffeine fix and I wasn’t it now!

9:06am I had pancakes , slice of ham and hot cereal for breakfast. Also got my caffeine fix along with two glasses of oj. Now I feel awake I had physical therapy after breakfast. It didn’t go very well despite She had me do leg exercises.j I had a heck of a time moving my left leg . It hurt like hell and I felt like a wimp.

Frankly. I don’t understand why I do pt. I’m not making any progess. I think they want me to build up my leg muscles. All I know is I do what they tell me to do. I at least make an attempt but it hurts so bad afterwards. I keep telling them I’m a lost cause. But they keep making do the damned exercises.

Chocolatechip called. She just got home from the bank.  She took the bus down to Cove  Corner then crossed the street using her walker. She said the streets were very icy and she had to take her timr. Our bank isn’t too far from Cove Corner so she didn’t have too far to walk. When she got to the bank she left enough money in to cover Comcast and SCI.

She made it back safe and sound. Then she is going to get a ride to the grocery store to get money orders for rent.shevwill do it this afternoon while the weather stays warm.

11:42m PT must have worn me out because I’ve been struggling to stay awake. I’ve been sitting in my chair waiting for lunch. I can’ concentrate for being too tired. Therefore, I can’t read. So I’m sitting here starring at the wall and thinking about happier times.

I’m not looking forward to lunch. I’m having coleslaw, macaroni a d cheese, stewed tomatoes, dinner roll and a chocolate cake for desert. I can’t stand stewed tomatoes so I won’t eat them. I’ll eat the Mac&cheese and the coleslaw but I am not too crazy about it. In short lunch sucks.

I talked with Chocolatechip. I had a bad connection or something because I couldn’t hear. We finished our chat on messenger.

1:12pm I finished my lunch. It was better than going hungry. Lots of people don’t get what I just had. They would kill for Mac&cheese. I’m very blessed to have a lunch. When I lived by myself I was lucky to have one meal a day. I should not complain. Life is good.

I was in half and half land this morning. That is half awake half asleep. I just sat in my chair waiting for my next caffeine fix. I was so tired but could not sleep. Lunch perked me up. But I think I could go back to bed and sleep all day.

I had four incontinence episodes this morning. Three before breakfast and one during lunch. This is unusual because I’ve been doing good I getting only one or two d days. Fortunately pain level is down to a one. My mood has been rather upbeat for the most part. Anxiety is non existent. I’m not worrying or obsessing about buying a table, or books on the fourth. I think I’ve been to exhausted to worry. Except for being tired I’m doing pretty good.

Well I guess I’m going to be awake as I ever will be. I’m going to try and read my  book Vineyard of Liberty by James Macgregor Burnes. Good stuff.  

7:00pm I didn’t read at all today. I was just too tired. Talked with Chocolatechip on messenger. Can’t seem to hear her on my phone. She wrote a nice poem. I love to hear her recite poetry.  I was telling her about my day which was good except for being tired. She was going on about being rejected by her sister. They did have a sordid history as children. I kept telling her that she is a very wonderful woman and  good person. We chatted for a long time. I like chatting with her on messenger.

I had a good supper I had a fillet of fish sandwich, potato wedges and peaches for desert. I also had two cups of fruit punch and a cup of coffee. Supper and coffee made my day.

I haven’t forgotten about my book. I just couldn’t concentrate today. I tried to read a few pages but didn’t get very far. I will try to read it tonight. But I hope they put me to bed early. I’m very tired