Thursday 12/22/22

6:16a.m. I missed a day. Wednesday was a shit show. The aides didn’t get be out of bed because I had to see the doctor. I hate laying in bed all day for various reasons. For one I couldn’t write on OD. The keyboard on the tablet kept doing a disappearing act. I got so frustrated I just said the heck with it. I was just a miserable old fart all day long.

 I slept a good bit of the day. Then in the afternoon my  stinking roommate started to act up. He woke me up cussing and yelling. He called me a few choice words when I said shut the f up. He yelled and cussed all afternoon. This got on my nerves really bad in the worse possible waz.

Well yesterday is over with, thank God. I Aides got me up around six. I’m still not doing all that great. I have a very bad headache. I had an accident as soon as I got in my wheelchair. I will not be able to get help until after breakfast.  I feel like shit.

I called Chocolatechip. She apologized for some of the stuff she said on Messenger last night. I accepted . I apologized as well. We both had a bad day yesterday and were more than irritable. We didn’t talk for too long because she had to get ready for an appointment..

I’m blessed to be above the dirt. I just wish this headache would go away and I had a cup of hot coffee. 

8:23a.m. I had the usual breakfast fare, French toast, scrambled eggs and two cups of coffee. I feel a little bit better after breakfast and coffee. Two Tylenols for the morning headache also helped. Then I called Chocolatechip after I ate. We talked for about a halour abouyyyt different subjects.  I alwas enjoy talking and chatting with her. She always cheers me up.

I downloaded the New York Times this morning. I saw this one interesting headline where Zelensky was telling Congress that aid to Ukraine is not charity. Both he and Biden must build support for continued aid as the war with Russia continues. I didn’t get a chance to read the entire article but would like to get to it.

Aftet sleeping almost all day yesterday I am wide awake. I didn’t read Wednesday so I would like to get some reading done today. I want to read the New York Times and listen to my audiobook Grand Expectations: The United States from 1945-1974 by James James T Patterson. Life is good.

11:51a.m. I had occupational therapy today. I did good with the  exercises. First, I had to pin something like clothespins to a poll. I had to reach a box with one arm, pick up a cothepin an pin it onto a poll. I wash pretty fast until I got to the t. Then I had to remove them all. Second, she had me bonce a balloon ball. We had to keep it on the ground. Weh did this for about fifteen minutes. The hardest part was standing.

She pushed me over to the parallel bar. I had to stand twice and hold onto the bar.First time I stood for one minute thirty-seven minutes. I stood for a second time. For a little over two minutes. This was the hardest because my knees started to hurt. I wasn’t too pleased  with my efforts rts. But my coach was happy.

I must of spent about thirty minutes in the gym. I started talked to Chocolatechip a bit. She has a therapy appointment this afternoon. Then her sister Elaine is coming up from Wheeling. But we had time to talk for a few minutes. I told her about my therapy session. She talked about doing housework and the up coming outing with Elaine. We didn’t talk too long because she had to finish getting dressed.

Then I started reading the NYT. I read the first article. It was about Zelensky visiting Washington DC. He gave a speech before a joint session of Congress and the Senate. He is was very grateful for U.S. support I think I read where we gave Ukraine $20 billion something in arms during the ten month war. Like I said this money wad not charity Zelensky said. 

But there are some members in Congress who are starting to question the support the article said. Both Help enskz and Biden must convince the voting public to continue giving aid. This will be e especially true once this session of Congress ends and Republicans get control of the next one.

I read another article about the Ukraine -Russia war. I’ve been trying to follow these stories . This war has me worried. I’m afraid that the longer it lasts the greater the chance we might end up sending combat troops over to Ukraine. It could get well go nuclear and that prospect would be unthinkable.

Oh well, so much for the news. I just ate my lunch. I had two chicken breasts, carrots and potatoes with apple tidbits for desert. Then I had two cups of hot coffee and a glass of fruit punch. Lunch was delicious and I ate it all.

I had a great morning for a change. I was alert and read part of the paper. I had a good therapy session. I had  a great lunch. Best part of the morning was talking to Chocolatechip. Rest of the day is going to be better.

2:04p.m. My mood took a turn for the worse. I was in pretty good spirits until I went to Amazon and browsed for books. I searched for these history books The Story of Civilization by Will and Ariel Durant. I bought the first volume,  Our Oriental Heritage, this month. I have no money to buy anything else. There are ten more volumes to this series. I will have to wait until I get my SS check on the third. After paying rent to the nursing home of $583.00 I will buy all ten volumes for’$145.90. I can’t wait and I’ve been n thinking of little else.

Then it dawned on me that Christmas is Sunday. I will be spending it alone. I’ve been in this frigging nursing home going on three years this coming May. During this time nobody from my family came to visit. I did not get a lousy Christmas or birthday card from anyone except Chocolatechip. Thinking about this made me very depressed. Santa clause is not stopping on Christmas Eve. I am not looking forward to Christmas this year. It is just another day.

I had a mini meltdown for a few minutes but it passed. I will not dwell on this. It is what it is after all. I want to have a good day and block out all this negative thinking. I want to concentrate on the NYT and my history book. Dwelling and obsessing will not change anything. I might as well find some enjoyment.

4:49pm I haven’t hard from Chocolatechip. She had a therapy appointment and then was going on an outing with her sister Elaine. They planned on going to Aldies, Walmart and Bob Evans. So she was pretty bust this afternoon. Still I get at least one call when she goes shopping. It kind of made for a lonely and anxious time. I can’t help myself but worry when I don’t hear from hear.

I put my time to good use . I spent at least two hours reading the NYT. I enjoyed my paper today and it did help me relax. I read a lot of interesting articles. One article that stands in my mind was about Trump and his tax returns. The article said it is a mandate that Presidents must have their tax returns audited Both Obama and Biden had theirs audited .But the IRS has been seeking Trump’s taxes since 2019.  This was not made public until a committee looked into the matter.

I read a few other articles as well. I read about Elon Musk and Tesla. If in remember right the authors of this story said that Tesla’s share of the electronic car market is dropping. In the meantime Elon Musk is becoming more and more wrapped up in problems with Twitter. 

I read a couple other articles as well. One article wrote about a massive storm that is supposed to hit most of the country. Authorities say that people should change their Christmas traveling plans.  Power outages will also be expected in many parts of the country. 

I took a break from the paper because it is coffee time. I just got my supper drinks : two cups of coffee and a glass of fruit punch.According to the menu, I am having a bowl of vegetable soup, a fish sandwich, tater tots and orange sherbet. I’m getting hungry and am looking forward to dinner.

It is almost 5:30. I still haven’t heard from Chocolatechip. I’m trying hard not to let this bother me but I’m starting to worry. She is usually back by now. I called around 4 but no answer. I left a message but she hadn’t returned my call. I just called again and no answer. I hope to hell things are ok. 

6;00p.m. I just called and no answer. I bet Chocolatechip is home and is just not answering the paper hone. I’m getting a little pissed. If the situation were reversed she would be giving me all kinds of heck on Messenger. Now it is nothing, nada. I am starting to get sick with worry. I keep thinking she ended up in the ER after her therapy appointment. I keep thinking all kinds of crazy thoughts.

I am starting to sound like a paranoid nut case. I feel like one right now. Chocolatechip is all I have in the world. If anything happens to her I would completely lose it all. I’m really starting to sound like a nut case because I worry so much. Got to get a handle on my irrational fears before they really get out of hand.

.I’m going to cope with this by listening to my audiobook Grand Expectations: The United States 1945-1974 by James T Patterson. Hearing the written word spoken is always soothing. I stopped last Tuesday on Chapter 8. Here, the author discusses Korea. I should get lost in this chapter and escape for a while .