Thursday 10/3/24

2: 44a.m. I finished Chapter X in The White House Years by Henry Kissinger. In Chapter XI Kissinger discusses U.S. relations with its NATO allies in Europe and Canada. I read until 11:00. I finially fell to an uneasy sleep.

I was very depressed over the way things have been going. The aides have been terrible the last couple of days. I’m tired of this shit. But I fee like I’m stuck in this hellhole . I don’t have much of a choice . I heard that all nursing homes are hellholes. This was from a very reliable source. The source also told me that this place pays hush money to APS. So basically I’m screwed. This makes me feel depressed and helpless.

When I get like this I buy books to cheer me up. I spent a small fortune on books last month. So I do not need anymore books .But I love books. There is something about buying ebooks from Amazon that makes me happy. It is an addiction. I needed to feed this addiction last night But I couldn’t and that added to the depression.

My goal is to save up my $50 monthly allowance for seven months. When I reach $350 by April I will blow it all on books. I got such a high last month when I blew $174 on books. I want that feeling again. Think of the rush I will feel when I have twice as much. That good feeling should last a few days.

I can’t sleep. I woke up needing my briefs changed. The aide answered my call light. She did her job. Then I peed myself after she left. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

5:23a.m. I got some sleep and had. a nice dream where about three women sitting on a couch watching a movie. I was sitting on the f the loor by the couch. They ended up having sex with their boyfriends. I started to join in . We were about to have an orgy when I woke up I can’t get any even in my dreams.

Surprise Surprise I had a very nice aides this morning. She was friendly and did a great job. I’m dressed and in my wheelchair . I think this is going to be a good day.

7:21a.m. I fell asleep in my wheelchair. I woke up in time for my coffee and orange juice. There is nothing like coffee and OJ in the morning. I feel wide awake now. This is going to be a kick ass day.

Chocolatechip called and we talked for a few minutes. She had symptoms of a cold coming on. It was probably from being out in the rain yesterday. She said she cancelled one doctors appointment. She talked about walking downtown to get her smokes and a bus pass Friday. Then she talked about the longshoreman strike. People are already hording according the news. We had a nice chat then she had to get busy.

Right now I’m just sitting in my wheelchair waiting for breakfast.k I hope it will be one of my favorites because I’m hungry.

10:07a.m. I’m having a pretty good day so far. First I had pancakes, ham and oatmeal cereal for breakfast. I love pancakes and ham. Then I talked with Chocolatechip. She was in good spirits. I read The White House Years for awhile. Then I went to the coffee social where I read more of my book. I had two coffees then went back to my.room without peeing myself.

1:52p.m. I read my book after coming back from the coffee social. I went back to the Fiesta Room for lunch which was delicious.. They served two BBQ cheeseburger,a cup of tater tots and pineapple tid bits. I ate it all. Then I had a major incontinence episode. I was soaked and very sore . But I finished my lunch then left for my room by 12:30.

Then things started to go bad very fast. I was in a lot of pain by the time I got to my room. It was lunch time and the aides were taking care of trays. Still, I had the light on and was screaming my fool head off. I endured the pain until some aide came by 1:30. Frankly, I was surprised I only had to wait an hour.

She wasn’t very friendly but she did an excellent job. I was put in bed, undressed and cleaned up. She put cream on my butt and thighs then changed my briefs. I feel much better because I’m dry and off the hoyer pad. Now I can go back to reading Then White House Years by Henry Kissinger after I defuse.

2:47p.m.i was indulging in my.second favorite pastime, looking at books. If I can save my money I will have $350 saved by April of 2025. Then I can go on a spending orgy at least Amazon . I will buy 26 books. This will be a year’s worth of reading. I keep thinking how much of a rush it will be to get all those books at once. Anyway that is my biggest fantasy .

I was upset for awhile but I’m ok now. I calmed myself by looking at books. J just love books I’ll never forget the library I had in my apartment. I collected over two hundred books. It broke my heart when I had to get a rid of them. My asshole of a neighbor gave me a terrible bed bug infestation. At least bed bugs can’t hide in ebooks.

4:23p.m. I’m laying in bed waiting for supper. They are serving chicken piccata, rice pilaf, green beans and a blueberry bar for dessert. I’m not very crazy about this but I’ll eat it. I hope they served coffee . They were out of town coffee at lunch time.

I talked with Chocolatechip. She has a CMP appointment tomorrow morning. Afterwards she is taking the bus to the city building to get a bus pass. Then she will walk down to the M&B for smokes. We also talked about the nursing home. The care in this place sucks. Buti we both agree it could be worse someplace else At least here I have phone and Internet service. I’d be lost without them. I said I would rather stay here where I know what to expect. This place does have some good points.

I was saying the aides came to check on me at 3:00. They asked when the last time I was changed. I said 1:30. I was still dry then so I didn’t need help. Chocolatechip said they must of been td. I said it was unusual because they leave me in bed for hours on end. We talked about this place until she wanted to get something to eat.

6:29p.m. Supper was delicious and I ate it all. The meals are one of the major things I like about this place. They are great except for the ham and pinto beans. So it can’t be all that bad. I just wish I didn’t have to be drenched in urine half the day. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

I talked a lot with Chocolatechip before supper.. She isp going to bed at six because of her early appointment. We talked about the terrible events that has been happening in the news. They were talking about the war in the Mid East on Channel 9. We were saying how crazy things are getting. Neither one of us could go through a war. I was saying it seems like the Biblical prophecies about the end times are coming true.

Then there we were talking about the destruction caused by Helene. I heard two hundred some people were killed across six states. North Carolina seems to be the hardest hit. I heard that Biden sent one thousand troops to NC. We both agree we are living in crazy times. We both like to talk about what’s going on in the world.

Well, another day is coming to an end. It was not so bad except around lunch. But I didn’t have to wait for two hours to get changed. Then they checked on me later. Also, I did a lot of reading in the morning. I hope to read until 11:00 tonight. Life is good.