Sunday 6/9/24

12:10a.m. I am having a terrible night. I’m afraid from falling asleep after that terrible dream.. But I don’t to be up all night.

6:59a.m I had more nightmares. I dreamed I was in prison for a crime I did not commit. I ended up in a very small cell with six other inmates. Some important politician hired a hit man to kill me. He was going to kill everyone in the cell. I had other weird dreams but this one stands out

So I had one hell of a night. I was up for good by 6:30. I called Chocolatechip. She had a bad night ad well. She complained of nightmares. We talked for a few then they served drinks. I didn’t drink my coffee. Breakfast was French toast casserole, not my favorite.

11: 34 a.m. Nothing is going right today. I had a terrible night. I didn’t drink my coffee this morning. Breakfast made me sick. I missed the coffee social. The aide didn’t get me in my wheelchair until 11:00. I’m in a miserable, foul mood. I wish someone would just shoot me and put me out of my misery. Life sucks with no morning coffee.

1:15p.m. Lunch was delicious. They served turkey with gravy, oven browned potatoes, carrots, a dinner roll and peanut butter pie. The coffee was nice and hot. I am feeling a little better. But on top of everything else the arthritis is acting up.

This is still a very shitty day. Now I’m suffering from the runs. I pooped myself a couple times. As usual it was painful. Thi has been one of those days. I feel like I want to go back to bed.

3:35p.m. I slept a lot this afternoon. I woke up a little bit ago. I feel groggy and disoriented. I wish the aide will put me to bed. They will probably keep me up until after supper though. At least that was what they told me this morning God I’m tired.

I could not think of reading today. I was just not up it it. I wonder if I will ever finish that book. I’m losing interest in the Civil War anyways. They last three books were on that subject. I think it is time to move on to something else. But I hate to stop in the middle of a book.

I talked with Chocolatechip when I got up. She sent me a long email about being outside. She said she sat by herself. This guy named Kieth tried to bate her. She ignored him. She got up and went back inside. I said good. Kieth and Carol are nothing but troublemakers I said. I’m glad you sat by yourself. We both agree there are worsek things than being alone. I myself would rather be alone than involved in a toxic relationship.We talked about that for a few minutes then she wanted to get something to eat.

4:53p.m. I’m feeling better. My aide put me in bed at 4:30. She did a good job in cleaning me and changing my briefs. I’m so glad to be off the hoyer pad. Now that I’m cleaned up and not hurting maybe I can concentrate on that book.

6:26p.m I had a Philly cheese steak sandwich, fries and ambrosia for supper. It was delicious. Then was having a lot of pain because of my briefs. I couldn’t reach the call light so I screamed for help. The aide finially came .She changed my briefs. I’m ok now.

I finially finished Chapter 8 in Landscape Turned Red . Antietam was the bloodiest single day battle in all American history. Stephen W Sears says both sides suffered slightly over 22,000 casualties. I hope to read Chapter 9 tonight.

I also talked with Chocolatechip. I’m more than worried about her. She was upset about how people in Misery Towers treat her. Yesterday the women were especially nasty. She couldn’t sleep very well because of it and she had a shitty day today. I said you need to talk to your therapist about this. Chocolatechip has an appointment set up next week. I don’t think she is in a crisis mode but she was pretty upset.

Sunday is winding down. This was a terrible day. I will be glad when it is over. I only hope I can sleep tonight without those God awful nightmares.