Saturday 9/3/22

8:12 am My wakeup call was 5:00 Aide came in and woke me up from a weird dream. I was dreaming about John Wayne. He lead a guerrilla attack on my hometown in Follansbee. There were these snipers hiding up a tree on my old street. Wayne’s army was advancing up Main Street. We were trying to get those snipers but couldn’t see them. Eventuallyj we by passed the snipers and set up a perimeter outsidecof town on Route 2. A battle began and we held off a large force. This was when I was wakened up.

I was still pretty sleepy. I slept in my wheelchair for a long time. I slept until they served drinks for breakfast. Coffee was barely warm but I drank it anyway. Rest was good. I had two pieces of toast, scrambled eggs and hot cereal. It was ok. I ate it all.

I am above the dirt. I’m having a good morning. Arthritis pain is down to a one. I am awake and alert I feel very good about myself because I paid bills yesterday? Still have to pay rent to the nursing home but I can do that Monday or Tuesday. I’m just glad I have the money. 

My roommate has been making noise. He woke me up at one point. I can’t make out what he is saying. It kind of bothers me a bit to hear people scream Nurse Nurse! and nobody comes I’m glad now because somebody came in to help.

I was checking my credit cards. I have $610 left on Capital One. Out of this money comes a payment of $583.00 to the nursing home. I’ll have $26.08 left for available purchases. My payment to Credit One of $100.77 is still being processed. 

I’m just glad I have enough money for rent. I bought a book last night. I shoulda of done it  I was afraid the price, $9.99, might of cut into rent money. But it turns out I’m ok in that department.

12:51pm I’m kind of worried about myself. I have been sleeping a lot. I slept almost all morning despite sleeping last night. It seems I can’t get enough rest no matter how much I sleep. 

I had a good lunch of spaghetti with meat sauce, a dinner roll of and tossed salad. For desert I had a cup of peaches and blueberries. The two cups of coffee were nice and hot. Lunch perked me up and I hope I can stay awake for awhile. 

4:56pm I was able to stay awake this afternoon. I put my time to good use by organizing my Kindle library according to author. I didn’t know I had so many books. I have not yet read most of them.

I talked with Chocolatechip. She got her daughter Theresa to take her to Walmart. While up there she ran into Doug, her second husband. Chocolatechip said said Doug was not all that friendly.Dougcand his sister Cathy  unjustly blame her to for everything. I’m not all that crazy about Doiug but I did say you are better off without them in your life.

I got a bit hungry. After talking to Chocolatechip I went to the nurse’s station. They were passing around snacks. I ended up with piece of cake. I slso had a peanut butter sandwich

They will be servng dinner soon. I’m having cream of potato soup, hot dogs, lemon iced cookies plus two cups of hopefully hot coffee and a glass of fruit punch. I’m not too hungry buy will eat it all anyways. 

I do not feel so depressed like I did a earlier. I had think I did something to occult I my mind. Then I had something sweet and talked with Chocolatechip All three put me in a better frame of mind. I think I can concentrate on my book tonight.

6:38pm I had a fish sandwich and corn instead of hot dogs. I like fish better. I talked with Chocolatechip  after supper. We talked about different things. We talked about Doug for one. I could write a book about Doug but I sat there and listened. Chocolatechip said it was more than awkward in running into him. Doug and his sister Cathy completely wrote her out of the picture. I was said “You should be glad they are not in your life.” We both agreed that it was crazy that they should blame you for the condition of his house.

Chocolatechip also talked about her finances. It is kind of complicated but manageable. She has it all set up to pay her bills. Actually, she is in pretty good financial shape this month. Her cable bill will be cut by half. This way she has enough to get a bus pass.

Then she was going on about cleaning her frig and making up a grocery list. Her case manager is taking her grocery shopping  on the 7th  Chocolatechip talked about the stuff she wants to stock up on. She said she wanted to buy some extra cans of coffee.

I talked briefly about my day. I went on about how tired I was all morning. Then I talked about how my mood seemed to go up and down. I mean I was ok one minute then the next minute I felt like crying. I think I said I got very depressed about being in a nursing home.  I said I will never get used to some aspects of it.

It was getting close to her bed time. We said our goodbyes for the night. I kind of miss not having anyone to talk to at night.

I’m kind of proud of myself. I got my library pretty well organized. I wanted to buy a book in the worse way but resisted the urge. As I was telling Chocolatechip I have $610 a available for purchases. Actually that money is not available because $583 is going to the nursing home. I would have really screwed myself if I had bought more books. I actually showed will power.

This was a good day for the most part. I did have a minor meltdown about being in the nursing home. As I was saying to Chocolatechip I miss my freedom. I said I miss going to bed and getting up when I please. I miss fixing my own meals and eating what I like. I miss coming and going when I want. 

Chocolatechip was saying towards the end I really had a hard time. I wasn’t taking care of myself or my apartment. I don’t know what happened. I was physically unable to do it for one thing. Then I was so depressed, tired and overcomed with incontinence problems. I mean I know I need to be here but I do miss my freedom.