Saturday 3/19/22

1:50pm I’m having a very bad day. I didn’t sleep very well last night because of arthritis pain. Toward morning I had two constance’s of diarrhea. I had to lay in my own feces until the aids came to get me up in the morning. Believe me, laying in your own poop is not the best way to start the day.

I did get changed but I was trying to get help half the night. I was so angry and depressed. I felt so sick of it all, being in this nursing home.i thought about going someplace else but I would probably end up in a worse place. Besides, I don’t like moving. I will stick it out here until the end.

They got me out of bed and cleaned up by 5:30.  I still felt very,very tired and depressed. I slept in my wheelchair until breakfast. I had a coffee cake, scrambled eggs and hot cereal. I had a cup of barely warm coffee and a glass of oj and chocolate milk.i felt so shitty this morning breakfast didn’t cheer me up. After breakfast I wanted desperately to crawl back in bed and forget about everything.

I called Chocolatechip instead.That was a mistake. She was in a very crappy mood. For one thing Chocolatechip went to bingo last night. She brought snacks for everyone and nobody thanked her.  She said nobody bothered to speak to her after she said hi to everyone. Then those people were very rude and ignorant using foul language.Shevsaid it turned out to be a shit show. Chocolatechip is not going back.

Then there was another problem. Chocolatechip got a letter from the Housing Authority. They are going to hold a HUD inspection on the 28th? She felt a bit overwhelmed this morning when she woke up Chocolatechip was in a very bad mood because of the letter and bingo. She took out her frustrations on me just a little bit. Needless to say we did not have a very pleasant conversation.

I felt like shit all morning. Nothing seemed to be going right in my favor I finally got changed and that put me in a somewhat better mood. Still, I felt like road kill all morning. I tried to sleep in my wheelchair. I must of slept because I had a couple dreams about a guy I used to work with. Still, I felt half aake and half a sleep all morning.

Lunch was good. I had a side of ham, sweet potatoes vand green beans. I also had pears for desert. I had two cups of hot coffee, chocolate milk and an orange drink. Lunch was better than breakfast and I’m in a somewhat better mood. At least I’m above the dirt.

8:23pm I am feeling a lot better. I’ve been listening to my audiobook Vietnam:An Epic Tragedy, 1945-1975 by Max Hasting since after lunch. I forgot about my problems and escaped into the Vietnam War. Again I am having a hard time hearing the narrator. But what I can hear us very interesting. But for a better understanding I’m going to read the ebook which I bought for $2.99

Supper, like my day, was crappy. I had a Philly cheese steak sandwich and tator tots.vi ate most of it. Coffee was nice and hot. I had two cups plus a fruit punch. The drinks were the best part of dinner. Coffee cheered me up

I talked with Chocolatechip after dinner. She was still in a bad mood.bso So was I for that matter. She kind of chewed me out for not calling. She did hang up on me the last time I talked with her. I thought she was mad and didn’t want to talk. Anyway, to make a long story short, there was trouble in paradise. I hope we go things worked out. I left her a message on messenger saying I loved her and tomorrow will be a better day.

Then I went back to my audiobook. I’m about halfway through that sucker. I thought this would be easy just sitting and listening to some guy read a book. Boy was I ever wrong? I really have to concentrate and pay attention. This is particularly hard because I hadn’t hear very we!!.my wond wanders and I want to play games while listening. But I cannot do both at the same time. I’m not too impressed with audiobooks on this device.

It is time to go to bed since it is almost nine. I have my call light on but it is futile? They never answer it. I could be here dying or gasping for breath but they will never come. I don’t know.bToday was a very bad day for myself and Chocolatechip. Today I was pretty disgusted with the nursing home.bi felt neglected.But today is almost over and tomorrow will be better

9:26pm I’ve been in this damned wheelchair for sixteen hours. I’m getting mad again. I was changed twice today. Once when they got me up at 5:30. The second time shortly before lunch. Had a few accidents in the afternoon and did not get help. So I’ve been sitting in urine all day. Supper was lousy. Then they are keeping me up late. I bet you I won’t get to bed until after midnight.  If this were not bad enough Chocolatechip and I were not getting along. No wonder I was in such a foul, shitty mood.