Monday 6/24/24

2:27a.m. I had some weird dreams about my parents. In one dream my father had to go to jail for not paying his bills. In another dream! I was in Wellsburg. It was snowing pretty bad. I was trying to get a ride back to Follansbee. I saw my parents drive up. My father was in the back seat. He was dressed in a t shirt. I asked for a ride home. They were going to a funeral. They said they would meet me at the library Then I asked my mother if I could have money for a pack of cigarettes. She said no.

I had other weird dreams. This time I uncovered a government conspiracy to invade Venezuela. It was all planned out. Special forces would invade the capital and take over the government. Then the Army was to occupy and go after a powerful drug cartel. An assinations squad was recruited to kill. it’s leaders and members of the resistance. Dreams are so strange.

I went to bed early after finishing reading my story. Thanks to these dreams I’m up for good. Life is good.

6:41a.m. I managed to fall asleep. I had more dreams. I’m up for good this time. My aide woke me up. She gave me a nice sponge bath. Then they put in my wheelchair. My only problem is I have to wear a hospital gown .

1:23p.m. I had a great visit with Chocolatechip this morning.

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Here is the latest pic of us together.

Anyway I am having a great day. Lynn from physical therapy came for me shortly after breakfast. I had a great workout. As I was doing y leg exercises in walked Chocolatechip. She got to meet the staff at pt. When finished Chocolatechip and I went to the Fiesta Room for the coffee social.

We had a lot of fun . We played a few hands of 500 rum. Then we sat and talked until lunch. But we both had a shock. Doug, Chocolatechip’s ex husband , is now a resident. We had a very awkward moment. He didn’t look very happy to see us but Chocolatechip went up to day a few words. Then she came to sit with me.

I talked to her about Doug. I said I thought I saw him around a couple times. We didn’t speak because I didn’t recognize him. I also said he was the last person I expect to see here. But it does seemed that nearly everyone I know ends up in this place. Chocolatechip said it was a shock for her to as well. Other than that we had a wonderful time.

We stayed in the Fiesta Room for lunch. Chocolatechip half an egg salad sandwich, potato salad, watermelon and vegetable soup. They served me two chicken salad sandwiches. I couldn’t eat my lunch. Chocolatechip brought me a box of Little Debbie Nutty Buddy bars. I filled up on candy.

We went to my room after lunch. We talked about ending up in a nursing home. None of us want to be in one I said. As bad as Misery Towers is I would rather be back there . But Chocolatechip said I have a good set up here and she is right. I do have a good set up. I said I’m glad I stayed instead of going to the Geriatric Center in Weirton.

She left around 1:00. We went to the waiting room by the front office. We talked a little bit more. Then her ride showed up. We hugged and kissed and said our goodbyes

4:53p.m. Chocolatechip is home. We have been talking on the phone about our visit. I begged her not to bring me anymore Nutty Buddy bars. They are so good. I can’t help myself when I eat them all. I said I won’t eat supper tonight. We also talked about Doug. Frankly, I don’t have much good to say about him. He didn’t treat Chocolatechip very well when they were married. She asked if it will be awkward running into him. I said no I don’t think there will be any trouble.

I also read for an hour while Chocolatechip watched Dr Phil. I read two stores in You Like it Darker. They are getting better and better. The second story in the book is “The Fifth Step.” It has a very shocking ending It is about man alcoholic going through the 12 Step program Then I read a story called ” Willie the Weirdo.” It is about a very strange kid fascinated with death and his very old grandfather. Both were very good stories.

I talked with Chocolatechip again after Dr Phil. She seemed a bit down. We talked about different things for almost an hour. I had to interrupt our talk because I needed some Mylanta. I ate the whole damned box of Nutty Bars. I was very painfully bloated. The nurse gave me a dose and I went back talking to my girlfriend.

I just turned down my supper. The aides asked what I wanted to drink. I said nothing. I told them I was very painfully bloated. I feel like I just downed a big Thanksgiving Day meal. I couldn’t eat anything else if they paid me.

6:25p.m. I do not know what is wrong with me. A normal person knows when enough is enough. I am not normal because I do not know when to stop eating. I am a food alcoholic. I am a binge eater. I struggled with being overweight all my life. I’d go on diets and exercise programs and lose lots of weight. I’d only gain it back and then some. I just cannot help myself when it comes to food, especially sweets.

I still feel very sick and painfully bloated. On a scale of 1-10 the pain in my belly is a 6. I feel like I’m about ready to throw up. I hate myself when I get like this. I don’t understand why I overeat . I do it everytime when I get my hands on something like Little Debbie Nutty Buddy bars. It is stupid and irresponsible. All I’m doing is hurting myself.

I was talking about this to Chocolatechip. One of my diagnosis is bing eating. They were certainly on the money with that one I said. I told her I struggled with overeating and yo-yo dieting all my life. I said this is why I don’t drink alcohol. The same forces that make me obese would also make me a drunk. Please, I said. No more fucking nutty bars. She agreed, even if I beg.

My stomach is finially settling down. At least that God awful bloated feeling is subsiding. I thought I was going to puke a little while ago. But I think I’ll be ok. I’m going to chill and get lost in another Stephen King story

9:01p.m. I have been reading You Like it Darker by Stephen King. I started the third story “Danny Coughlin’s Bad Dream.” It is about a thirsty -six year old man who has a recurring nightmare. Danny is a custodian at a local high school. He looks up information from his dream on the school’s computer. He finds the same stuff from his dream on an Internet site. This scares the shit out of him.

My stomach has fully settled and I’m feeling much better. I swear through I’m never eating another Little Debbie Nutty Buddy bar again!