Friday 5/27/22

4:30am I had terrible night. I had to do shtm ares about being possessed by the dome unspeakable acts. In the end I killed him. Also there was a battle over the crown of a kingdom. The two contenders of the thrown were battling over an all powerful magic sword. One of them was the son of th devil.he was brandishing they showed and trying to stab the igood guy? But he had little effect.

After killing the e devil I was watching this battle in horror. I was very afraid? I had this King James version of the Bible. I ru she’d up to the son of the devil.. I pushed my Bible into his face saying the Lord’s Prayer.The new devil burned up before my eyes. I had just saved the battle between good and evil.

These dreams were very vivid and seemed so real. I was very afraid after waking up from them. I said the Lorde’s Prayer a few times. That seems to have calmed me down. But I couldn’t get back to sleep. I laid in bed until the aides came in to get me up.

I got great care last night. I had a few incontinence episodes. I rang the call light and got help right away. The aide was very nice. When she came to get me out of bed she gave me a nice sponge bath. Then she helped me get into my wheelchair. Despite battling with devil’s I am above the dirt.

I am glad to be up and in my chair. Who wouldn’t be after being pissed by the Deviil? It was only a dream but what a dream.  I’m  thankful to be alive even if I have to live in a nursing home. I’m thankful even if I have to deal with constant pain.im thankful they were just nightmares brought on by an over active imagination.

Yes. I’m in one piece. I’m in a safe and clean environment. I’ve been getting good care. I get three meals a day. I have a wonderful girlfriend in Chocolatechip. I have Internet access and plenty of books to read . I have a lot to be thankful for. Life is good.

I’m going to have a great day today!

11:27am I had a pretty good morning. It started with a good breakfast of toast scrambled eggs, hot cereal,oj and hot coffee. I must of been hungry because I ate it all. Breakfast put me in a good mood and woke me up. I started to read the front page of the NYT.

I read a lot of interesting articles about the mass shooting in Uvalde, Texas. citizens are mostly Hispanic. I read where they are up in arms about how long it took authorities to end the rampage? The article said that it took the cops one hour to kill the suspect, Salvador Ramos. It seemed to anxious parents that more police were outside the school setting up a perimeter than inside hunting down the killer. They want an investigation to see why Ramos wasn’t stopped sooner.

Anyway I enjoyed the paper. I have been at it all morning and haven’t finished the front page? There is just so much to the Time. It is impossible to read an issue in one day. I think it is the best paper in the world.

I had one minor incident with the Mean Bitch. I parked my wheelchair by the sink so I could power up my tablet. I stretched out my legs. On that side of the hall is the door to the bathroom. Mean Bitch opens the door and she snaps at me for being in her way.  Why she couldn’t have said excuse me? No matter what I do she finds something to yell at me about. But I did not let her ruin my day. I went on reading my paper.

I can’t wait for lunch and another cup of coffee. I am kind of hungry and could use a cup of hot coffee. Lunch will not be served until after twelve. I will have a long wait. Other than being hungry I am having a great day despite Mean Bitch. I’m not having any pain or constipation today. My spirits are up compared to yesterday. Life is worth living when you are pain free.

In addition to reading I did my next favorite thing, browsing for books I picked out five or six books from my Amazon wish list. I will be getting my check next Friday. But I will not buy anything until I get my rent to the nursing home paid. I will be able to pay them back on June,6. Then I can blow it all on books.yippie!

I also called Chocolatechip. The is having a good day. Chocolatechip said she was listening to a movie she bought called On the Waterfront. This stared Marlon Brando, Eva Marie Saint and Carl Malden. It is a great movie and a classic. We were talking about that and movies in general. We both like the originals instead of the remake? Remakes are never as good. After her worker leaves Chocolatechip is going down to the Senior Center. I said I hope you have a good time. I’m glad she is getting out of the building.

I’m kind of torn between two desires.  I want to continue on with the paper. But I also want to start reading Needful Things. I left off at a good part in the story last night. But there are also a lot more good stories in the paper. Oh I must truly be blessed if this is all I have to worry about.

4:46pm I had another run in with Mean Bitch. I had an episode and I rang the call light for an aide. It took them along time to come but they finally came to my room. I said I needed my brief s changed. Mean Bitch had a shit fit when she saw I was soaked. She yelled at me saying I could use the bathroom or the urinal. SShe said a bunch of other things to her partner. Both were unfriendly and mean. But I got changed and that’s the main thing.

I am getting sick and tired of this treatment. I pay $481.00 a month for rent in this palace. I don’t expect to be treated like royalty but I would like a little respct. I guess not having to sit in urine all afternoon is too much to ask for. I’m really pissed and I think I. Going to have a other talk with my Social Worker Monday.

Other than that I had a good afternoon. I didn’t do any reading I just chilled out but browsing for books at Amazon. I got saw a lot of history books I have on my Book app but would like to buy them for my Kindle James Macgregor Burns is one author. Then there are some Stephen King books and a new novel by John Grisham I know it is a waste of money buying books a second time but I’m really disgusted with Barnes and Noble. I do not want anything to do with them.

I also talked with Chocolatechip on the phone and on Messenger. She was telling me about her trip to the Senior Center. She said it was wasted trip. Nobody spoke to her when she got down there. She also said that she almost got hit by a motorized bicycle. The guy on the bike was going too fast he almost knocked her over Of course he went on by. I said God was looking out for you. She said she is ok just shook up.

I had a so so lunch. I had meatloaf, scalloped potatoes and spinach. I ate everything but the spinach. I hated spinache. I don’t know what I’m having for supper. I hope it is better than lunch and the coffee is hot.

8:03pm I cancelled my Kindle subscription to the  New York Times. I was on a fourteen day free trial period. The free trial period was supposed to expire on May 30 and they will start bi!ling my credit card $19.99 a month.  I  cancelled because I found out I have zero credit available. I can always swallow my pride and go back to reading the Times on my Nook app. I will probably pick it up again once I have money on my card.

I’m finding out that you have to be very careful with Amazon or you will have an unpleasant surprise at the end of the month. I have the Audible app. They have something called Audible Prime? Anyways I found out that I would be billed for $14.99 at the end of the trial period. I wanted to get out of this plan. It took me the biggest part of the afternoon to figure out how to cancel. But I did it and saved myself $15.00

I got a bit down in the afternoon. I was reading all morning. I got tired of reading. I kind of gotten tired of sitting in my wheelchair. I wished to heaven I was back in my old apartment with my own ty. I would have turned it on and watched a good classic movie. Better yet Chocolatechip would come up and she would pick out a Lifetime movie to watch. I thought of those days and missed her very much. We had such a good time together.

Anyways I missed Chocolatechip a lot today. It got to me at the end of the day.i called her up and we talked on the phone. Then we got on Messenger. She talked about a mutual acquaintance named Wayne. His mother is about to pass. She gave him a sympathy card.Be was about to give her a hug but she saw he was covered with bb bites. I felt kind of sad for him and how he ended up. I guess we are all getting older.

I had a good supper. I had a fish sandwich with French Fries. I had corn chowder with it. The coffee was nice and hot. I must of been hungry because I ate it all.

After supper I played a couple chess games and lost. I just cannot beat that app and I thought I was a halfway decent player.

I feel kind of lonely right now. Chocolatechip goes to bed early. When she goes to it is lights out end of story. I’m stuck in this isolation room. My roommate sleeps twenty- four hrs a day. I have no TV. Talking to Chocolatechip and reading are the only things that keep me going. She has gone to bed and I have read enough for the day. I wish I can go to bed but I have a couple hrs to kill before the aides come

I might as well go read my book Needful Things  until bedtime.

10:08pm I’ve been sitting in the wheelchair for all evening waiting to be put to bed. Coffee wore off and I’m getting tired. I e been in this chair since 4:00 That is over eighteen. hours. It isn’t entirely the aide’s fault. She came in about an hour ago but I wasn’t ready for bed. I wanted a pbj sandwich . I just got one now and it was good.

I got very depressed and felt so lonesome tonight. I felt like a lost soul. I remember reading someone who said a man is never alone in his library. I have books coming out of my butt and still felt alone. A man cannot live with books alone. He needs some kind of human company.

I mean this was a terrible feeling I had that would not go away. I thought that I must be some kind of horrible monster who does not deserve to have friends or family or any human contact. I thought there must be something terribly wrong with me because I have nobody but Chocolatechip . Other than the time I was in the er I haven’t seen her or anyone else in two years.

I hate it when I start thinking like this. This is what I escape from when I read. I didn’t read this afternoon or tonight and my mind soon turned into a pile of crap. Depression comes with negative thinking and I soon got myself way down. PBJ sandwich cheered me up a bit but I still feel like the devil in my dream last night  is still possessing my soul.