Friday 3/11/22

4:49am I’m in my wheelchair already.  I didn’t get to bed until almost midnight. Then I had frigging nightmares. I woke up screaming at one point and couldn’t get back to bed.. To make matters worse I was on the edge of the bed and almost fell. I rang  the call light for help but nobody came. In short, I had a miserable night. I feel like hell and am very pissed.

I did some reading last night. I almost finished a very long chapter in my book Crosswinds of Freedom.by Jams MagGregor Burns. I am almost finished with this book having two more chapters. This is the last volume in The American Experiment series. Next up is a two volume bio of Franklin Delano Roosevelt by the same author. I cannot wait to get started on this.

I didn’t talk to Chocolatechip too much yesterday. She had to go to the lab at WMC for blood work.  She took the early bus to the hospital. Then she went to  Walmart to get a money card. As I said yesterday, I was very sick with diarrhea. I slept most of the day away. I pissed most of her called.

Also,I do have COVID-19. I asked the nurse when she was passing out meds. She said I tested positive. This is my second bout. Again I’m pissed. Chocolatechip told me there are thirty-one cases in the nursing home. This is another thing I’m pissed about. I had it last Christmas and barely pulled through. Will I have to go through this a second time?

I sure do hate getting up this early after a lousy night. I will never get used to this schedule. It isn’t getting out of bed so early tthats bad. It’s going to bed past midnight and not getting enough sleep kills me. Since I have Covid shouldn’t I be in bet getting as much rest as possible?  This is not right, not right at all.

1:30pm I slept in my wheelchair most of the morning. Lunch helped me k feel beter aI feltnd the coffee was hot. Feel a little nauseous. Also my nose is stuffy and I have a headache. These are classic COVID symptoms.  Despite sleeping hall morning I feel very  tired. I wish they would put me to ded so I can sleep.

I talked briefly with Chocolatechip. She is in  pretty good spirits. She is in good shape financially. Also, nobody knocked on her door last night. She said she slept well. Chocolatechip was thinking of going to the bank to deposit money. I’m uglad she is having a good day.

I wish I can say the same for myself. I feel so friggin tired. I wish to hell I can get in bed. Sitting in this wheelchair when you feel sleep deprived is pure toetur. I’m so tired. I’m tired of being sick and this is only the second day. I hope I pull through. But if I don’t I think I’m ready to go

I feel very depressed. I see little  chance of walking again or ever getting my bladder under control. I will be in this wheelchair and the nursing home until I die. Thanks to Covid this might not be too far

5:00pm I had a very lousy day. I felt so weak and tired. I slept most of the afternoon t but still feel so tired and weak. To make matters worse I had a bad case of diarrhea. The male aid yelled at me for not going to the bathroom. That son hatesme. Still feel as if I got to go.

Ok I ring the damned call light. It takes forever for an aid to answer. I can’t hold it in foreve4. I have no control over it. What the hell am I supposed to do? Damn stupid asshole if they would answer the call light I’d go to the bathroom. I don’t get my jollies pooping myself.

I even got yelled at during lunch. They brought me a glass of white milk .I politely told the girl I don’t drink white milk? Instant a glass of fruit punch. I eventually got the desired drink. But she yelled at me saying You need to stop changing your drinks! I didn’t dare say I wanted two cups of coffee.

I had a very shitty day and am in a shitty mood Its bad enough I am sick and have to be hear in the first place. Then the staff treats me like crap at times. No wonder I get depressed

8:00pm I had another accident after supper. That was two hrs ago. I’ve been sitting in my own shit since. I have been ringing the call light but no aid. This is bull shit and no excuse. I realize they have to take care of dinner trays but dinner was over two hrs ago. There is simply no excuse for this kind of neglect!

Like I said they don’t come when I ring the call light. Then they get mad when I don’t go to the bathroom. What the fuck am I supposed to do?!. I can’t hold it in forever for God’s sake.