2/13/09

Scraps From The Past.
This is my play time. Scrapbooking the past.

Life. It’s moving right along. Still just the dogs and me here at the castle. Vin will be 16 in June. He’s been with me longer than any male thus far in my life. (aside from my birth children of course) He’s loyal to a fault.

Pat is still in my life. We see each other on occasion, maybe a little less than before, but still . . . . it’s company on a cold day. (or night) Sometimes I (we) don’t get him. (each other) It’s a strange thing but I have come to understand this about me. The more I’m away from him, the more I don’t want to be with him. The more time we spend together, the more I like being together. Odd, isn’t it? I don’t quite know what to make of that. But since in the long run I prefer to be alone more than not, I’m not encouraging too much of a good thing.

Health. Still hangin in there. This visit for no particular reason doc asked about sibling donors. I didn’t waste much time in suggesting donor banks. 🙂 Yes, I have siblings. I don’t want to bother them. Anyone that wants to donate does so out of a kind heart. I don’t feel like my siblings swing that way. Besides, we’re talking a few years down the road yet and maybe by that time there will be other alternatives, or not necessary at all. My white count has been slow to rise. I feel so fortunate to be able to live with leukemia like I do. Seems strange to say that. I never could have done that 10 years ago. Can you believe it’s been that long? We talked about that at my last appointment too. This was my 10 year anniversary appointment. Wow. When I think about first discovering that I have leukemia it brings back quite a flood of memories. Finding out over the telephone from a physicians assistant. That in itself, NOT a good thing. No real information other than, this is what you have and we’ve set up a follow-up appointment for further testing for such-and-such a date. May I suggest to anyone who finds out you have a life threatening disease – DO NOT go to the internet for your information, at least until you’ve gotten all the information you can from your doctor, clinic, hospital, etc. Over that weekend I searched my particular type of leukemia and found out the median life expectancy was 10-11 years. I was 45 at the time. Ok, you’re saying this could be pretty good news for Leukemia, right? But in my mind I’m raising 2 boys on my own, and my mind is racing with thoughts of chemo, doctor bills, loss of work, and only God knows the list of unknowns to go along with.

To date there has been no chemo, no loss of work, no complications other than fatigue which unfortunately has been a way of life for me, but I cope. I make my life work for me, and a big part of that is tuning this . . . this disease out of my mind. On a daily basis it just doesn’t exist. Maybe that’s why alone works for me. I feel like there have been some definite miracles in my life. I spend as much time as I can playing/relaxing during my off hours. My boys have for the most part been fairly easy on me. Work has been steady. (knock on wood) And I have some good friends. What more should I want?

Happy Valentine’s Day to all.

e talking a few years down the road yet and maybe by that time there will be other alternatives, or not necessary at all. My white count has been slow to climb. I feel so fortunate to be able to live with leukemia like I do. Seems strange to say that. I never could have done that 10 years ago. Can you believe it’s been that long? We talked about that at my last appointment too. This was my 10 year anniversary appointment. Wow. When I think about first discovering that I have leukemia it brings back quite a few memories. Finding out over the telephone from a physicians assistant. No real information other than, this is what you have and we’ve set up a follow-up appointment for further testing for such-and-such a date. May I suggest to anyone who finds out you have a life threatening disease – DO NOT go to the internet for your information, at least until you’ve gotten all the information you can from your doctor, clinic, hospital, etc. Over the weekend I searched my particular type of leukemia and found out the median life expectancy was 10-11 years. I was 45 at the time. Ok, you’re saying this could be pretty good news for Leukemia, right? But in my mind I’m raising 2 boys on my own, and my mind is racing with thoughts of chemo, doctor bills, loss of work, and only God knows what other complications that may arise.

To date there has been no chemo, no loss of work, no complications other than fatigue which unfortunately has been a way of life for me, but I cope. I make my life work for me. Maybe that’s why alone works for me. I feel like there have been some definite miracles in my life. I spend as much time as I can playing/relaxing during my off hours. My boys have for the most part been fairly easy on me. Work has been steady. (knock on wood) And I have some good friends.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all.
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