My Ex is Terrible

I have never used any site like this before, just trying to get my feelings out before I do something that I would regret. Any advice, to help with the situation or to tell me I am crazy is welcome.😂

For the longest time all I wanted was a little family and someone to grow old with. Which I think most people are looking for at some point in their life. My life is no where close to being what I thought it would be I have over come a-lot of obstacles in the 38 years of life. I did not have an easy childhood, I was the girl that everyone picked on for the longest time. My home life wasn’t anything to brag about either. I felt like an outcast and everything revolved around my sibling because I got the brunt of all the punishments. Until the age of 14 then unfortunately something happened that my friends saw and the cops were called. After that I did what I wanted cause I used that incident to my advantage.

I met this great guy my the summer before my junior year in high school. He was great in every way i could imagine for easier reading purposes we will call him Fred. At the end of my Junior year I found out that I was going to be a mom and I have 4 months to prepare. Scary right… I was terrified not only cause I still had a year of high school left but Fred had just broken up with me for someone else. When I informed him I was pregnant he decided to call me a liar and say I got the picture online. Eventually there was a conversation and because I was young and pregnant and he was the first person I ever loved of course I went back. My child who we will call Oliver was born in September and at that time we lived 30 minutes away from each other. I went to school in the morning, went home for a few hours then was at work by 3. After I was done with work he would come up to see me and our child. It was nice. Things were really well for a while, in August after I graduated High school I moved into his parents house with him so we could be together as a family.

Things were good until our child was almost 2, I did move back to my parents house because he was suppose to be working third shift and instead of going to work he lost his job and was going to a buddy’s house to work on his truck because he didn’t want his dad to know he lost his job. Which left me alone a-lot I would hang out with my one girl friend let’s call her Betty, and one of our guy friends let call him Barney. After I moved back to my parents we did split weekends and I went to go pick Oliver up one Sunday and he would not let me take him. He found out that my friend Barney had helped me get a cell phone cause I was previously on his mothers plan and since we were not together she wanted the phone back. He took that phone and threw it across the street. I went inside and tried to get Oliver again and he punched the door right next to my head so I hit him with my flip flop. I did start to have feelings for Barney but nothing happened between us until that night when I was upset and he would not give me Oliver back. But to make it worse one of my best friends at the time said I will go pick him up, and that she did. But she ended up not bringing him home until the next morning she had stayed there all night. And then next thing I know she was moving in with Fred. We were apart for a while and eventually we ended up getting back together. But I did lose a friend at this point.

I ended up moving back to his parents house for a few years and after Oliver started Kinder-garden we moved into our own house, which his parents had to get a mortgage for because we didn’t have enough credit. Which was very nice of them. We fought like any other couple, until he started going out drinking and not coming home until the next morning. Yet again I got tired of being alone all the time and moved back to my parents for almost a year. I again became pregnant and because I had already changed Olivers school once I was not going to do it again in the same year. I waited for the school year to move back into our home to find out that he had been seeing some girl down the street… I stayed in the house and told him to leave and he did. I also told him that the only time I would call him if I went into labor would be during the day because he should have been at home with us. WELL that eventually happened because she kicked him out and because his parents owned the house he moved back in.