05/14/2013

 Ups and downs, I guess.

The job I wanted was a no go. The ever-so-nice-on-the-phone lady never sent the application. 5 days of compulsive email checking, and finally they put a "not a match" note on their stupid website next to the job title. fuck them. 

I’m still checking jobs everyday and applying for the ones I want, but I’m very undecided on wtf to do next. School is starting to look like more of an option, but I’m just not sure what i’d go for. Sounds crazy, but I’m thinking construction management. It’s an area that is lacking in women (which could help or hurt), and the construction management jobs that keep popping up under "project management" searches that I am looking for all seem to start right under or at six figures….It’s that, or digital learning, or a straight up business degree. The third option makes me want to gouge my eyes out, but it’s been the one thing that’s kept me from being qualified for many good positions… so… iunnoo. we’ll see.

In any situation, I’m 100% decided that oh yes, I’m going to Italy the first two weeks in September, and aint no job gonna get in the way of that.

The days seem to go by so fast, and it seems to get harder and harder to go to bed at a reasonable hour, and then, in turn, wake up at a reasonable hour, and then to get anything at all done during waking hours.When I sleep late, I feel guilty, but then I beat myself up for feeling guilty. I’m trying to develop some sort of routine-Virgos are quite often creatures of habit-but I’ve been unsuccessful thus far. 

I keep getting wrapped up in the drama next door. I absolutely don’t mind (and actually it makes me happy) helping Harold and his wife. But the daytime nurse is fringing on the edges of taking advantage and it’s starting to really piss me off. Out of the three of us (me, the boy, and her), she’s the only one with a fucking job… why am *I* asked to cart her around town because her car keeps breaking down? 

That’s how we started the day today. The doorbell rang when she got here at 7. We ignored it and stayed in bed. At 10, she called to have the boy come look at her car. He spent 2 hours out there trying to get the starter to work, finally, a tow truck came and took it away. Which means she’ll be asking for rides again until it’s out of the shop.

Listen – I got my last check from my old job and unemployment is going to take another 3-4 weeks to kick in at the earliest. I’m totally fine, but I don’t know when my next money is coming in and don’t know how much it will be. I need to be focusing my energy on my own mountain of problems, not hers….and keeping a schedule to get her home from work lands on the list of her problems. Two weeks of courier service with only one offer of gas money is probably enough, right? 

On a nicer tip, Harold’s daughter left a card in the door for us when we were out running errands on Saturday. It had a $75 gift certificate in it it for my favorite local italian restaurant. We ate like kings and I even had a few glasses of wine. At the end of the very long meal, I had to punt $50 of my own towards the bill, but it was totally worth it. No Regrets At All.

The weather has been lovely here, and I’ve been spending all of the daylight hours outside doing various things in the garden. all my seeds and transplants are in the ground in the veggie garden. i think i did it too early, but only time will tell. Every week I am surprised by new flowers, too. First, it was the tulips. Now, it’s Lilacs and Apple Blossoms. Next up, Peonies, Phlox and Blue Bells. After that, the most lovely orange Mums I’ve ever seen-children of June’s Grandmother’s Mums from 90 years ago…. By then, my sunflowers should be ready to start flowering. And then, roses.  The only ones the family spoke about were the mums – the rest I’ve figured out all on my own. I think I’m more excited about the flowers than I am the veggies (no progress on the kitchen). … I’ve got as many mason jars and drinking glasses as I can find that aren’t packed away in boxes lined up on high up window sills and every few days, they get new flowers. I’m obsessed with whats growing and what it will look like and how to care for it. Guess there are worse things to be obsessed about. 

In the big picture of things – just trying to stay positive. I keep finding myself feeling so lucky that I’m unemployed in this awesome house with so many things to keep me happy and distracted without even leaving the property line. If I was in a small, crowded apartment, I don’t think I’d be maintaining as well.

Oh – one last thing. Some local eccentric here ran the history of our house and told us all about the family who built it. I’ll relay that info soon, but now, I gotta find something to eat and get some outside time. I’ve got a phone call scheduled at two with an industry connection-never worked with the guy but have heard his name over the years, and he’s heard mine. Someone in New York called him to tell him about my situation and he looked me up on LinkedIn. We’ve been exchanging emails and agreed to chat today. I really am not holding my breathe, he’d have to have some pretty compelling information for me to consider working at his start up—indie vendors in our industry get beat up sooo much, freelancers go without pay, etc… but i’ll lend the guy and ear and my thoughts if he asks. We’ll see.

Kay, so I have an hour before that happens. Gonna go get some vitamin d and check for plant growth before he calls.