Praying again

I don’t think Shervy has been reading my journal entries but I could be wrong. If he goes online and starts reading everything I write then so be it. I still hid all my other entries…I just decided to not talk about him anymore.

I probably sound like a fucking idiot when I journal but I really don’t care what anyone thinks of me. Everyone has their problems and I’m not one to judge..so if someone judges me then they can just sit and rotate on a middle finger.

anyways, I feel depressed. I’m not waking up in prayer…nor going to sleep in prayer. I can’t just live life without acknowledging God so that will change today. I mean, what’s the point of giving up weed if im not going to follow through with prayer.?..

my new addiction is 1000 pound sisters on HBO. I love the show because it makes me wish I had a closer relationship with my sister (and brother). I also relate to Tammy with her addiction. Tammy has a food addiction…I have/had a weed addiction. But luckily I haven’t smoked in almost a week. One week…all the way until May 25th. No matter what.

Father God, please help me with my way of thinking today. I woke up just feeling upset and angry. Some man kept staring at me while I was walking outside of my apartment this morning, and it mad me angry. Then when I went to McDonald’s & they got my order wrong and the cashier, Manuel, seemed to be happy that I looked so upset. Like he was hoping to get a rise out of me…He made me stare at my food being ready for almost five minutes and said he was waiting on the cups of water to add to my order. Please convict his heart and not let him aggravate more people like he did me today. I pray for the people in Gaza who are suffering. I pray for the homeless people that are in this cold; help them be motivated to make a change in their lives. I pray for all the sick or people who may be suffering in other ways. I pray for healing in my family…all the broken relationships, please mend. I pray my for my mental health; let me not be discouraged.
I thank you Father for my parents. I thank you for my apartment and for a car that runs. I thank you for my health. Thank you for breaking my addiction. Thank you for my acting agents. Thank you for my job. Thank you that I’m able to have a comfortable bed to rest in.
I pray for Shervy…may his crypto come through. It seems to be his only hope for a better life. I can’t imagine how sad it must be to have a job that you don’t like and not being able to afford a better quality of life. Oh wait, that’s me too…but all joking aside, thank you for the miracle that will take place in my life through my faithfulness.
I pray that I rest well & I also pray for renewed energy & the motivation to get out of bed to TRY AGAIN.
I pray that you have my name weigh heavy on Vicky Boone’s and Jay Roewe’s heart. I pray you give me wisdom with the words to write others for their help. I want to write Apollo for help….guide me with my words. I pray that I could be discovered…be at the right place at the right time. And most of all, I pray that IM READY. Amen