Slowly Slipping

I hate the feeling I get after eating something.  Especially when I’m not at home.  I don’t know if anyone else has ever felt it, but it’s a sad, lonely feeling that is almost impossible to describe.  I usually get it while at some sort of family event like Christmas or a birthday party.  Makes me want to cry right then, but quickly washes away.  I hate the sad yearning feeling.

New diet time because, yup, I’ve been slipping (as you can all tell from the title).  I’ve only gained back about 4lbs (eek) and I want to make sure I don’t gain anymore back.  I need to be moving the opposite way on the scale.  I’ve also fallen back into the vomiting phase.  I really need to stop that because my housemates are bound to become suspicious.  So yeah, I’m going shopping tomorrow because one of my problems is eating on campus instead of cooking my own food.

On a random note, I can hear some boys singing a cappella Billy Joel out my window…

Got into my first car accident ever on Tuesday night and totaled my car.  I’m still pretty sore in my chest and back, plus my knee is swollen from hitting the dashboard.  My friend has burn marks and a broken nose from the airbag.  She’s worse off than I am.  Today on my way home from my friends, I was sitting in the back seat and had a panic attack because it was dark and rainy out.  I don’t want to be scared to drive or ride in a car at night, but I can’t stop reliving the accident.  The image of the airbag popping out in my face scares the shit out of me.

Sigh, so yeah, shopping tomorrow.  I’m planning on getting a bunch of yogurts, some chicken, and salad stuff.  No more eating outside my own kitchen, and no more than once a day.  Fatty seriously needs to lose 20lbs before Christmas.  I have those Yoga Booty Ballet DVDs, but I just haven’t felt motivated enough to do them.  It seems like whenever I have a second, I find something better to do.  Not that it’s really hard to find something better than working out to do.

Someone, send me some motivation.  STAT!