5/9/06

Alright, so things have been going okay.  I feel so much better around him now.  We’re just good friends.  We tell each other basically everything and I like that. 

We went to Watertown yesterday to bring his roommates boyfriend home and we had an argument on the way back.  I want to say it was stupid, but it wasn’t.  We started talking about her, his ex.  She’s coming up on thursday and he wanted me, him, her and her boyfriend to hang out together.  I asked if he was nuts.  Then I asked what he was going to do if she stopped by when I was with him.  He said "what do you mean?"  I meant was he going to act weird like he used to and he said no.  Then we argued because again he says I don’t trust him and I know that I don’t.  He said we’re completely opposite when it comes to trust.  He trusts me 100% until I fuck up.  I don’t trust him until he proves that he won’t fuck up.  I guess it’s true, but I can’t help it.  I told him that from now on I will trust him.  I also told him that if he ever did anything with her, I would never talk to him again.  He asked why and I said because I wouldn’t be able to handle that.  She’s the only one I would get really pissed about.  We’re not dating so I can’t get mad if he sees a different girl, but she’s not just any girl.  I asked if he would jeaopardize our friendship in order to do something one time with her and he said no.  I told him if he ever did anything I would get him back in such a bad way that he would be sorry.  Doing something with her would hurt me so bad that I wouldn’t be able to be around him again.  I’m not going to say what I would do because it’s really mean, not just to him.

So we argued about that for a while.  Finally he asked if we could stop talking about her.  We did and we sat in silence for a little while.  I broke the silence and said "I hate arguing, but it’s the only way I can tell you how I feel.  I’m sorry it makes us argue."  He said he understood and that he was glad we could get our shit out in the open.

I don’t really remember if there was anything else we argued about.  I told my roommate about it and she said she would seriously kick his ass if he ever hurt me.  She’s really protective of me because we’re best friends.  I know she would hurt him pretty badly because she can get scary when it comes to things like that.  I love her for that. 

We wrestled for a little last night.  I love when we do because it’s so fun.  We laugh at ourselves for being such dorks.  He hates to be tickled and I love tickling him.  He finally threw me over his shoulder and wouldn’t put me down until I promised not to tickle him.

My birthday is on monday.  Woo, happy 20th to me.  Unfortunately, it’s also the first day of finals week and I happen to have a final on that day.  He said he was going to get me a good present.  I got something really good for him and he loves it.

Alright, now I’m just rambling about absolutely nothing so I’ll cut off the entry here.

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May 10, 2006

yea thanks for the note.. i honestly havent (or hadn’t cut) since like, march, so i was doing good, and it wasnt over a guy, it was over my bitchy ex-best friend haha.. ya.. thanks.