Yep and another one.

SO back to what I was saying earlier. A lot has been going on since the last 6 months I haven’t written. My rabbit died and I moved to geat new place. I’m happy with it and I’m still not far from the campus. I bought a wii and love it. So now I have one. I want the wii fit but I think I’ll wait to get it. Maybe it’ll be my reward for reaching my goal weight. School is fine. I got into this research course and if all goes well I’ll get published in PsycInfo in MAy! It’s only a pass fail course so either I do the work and come or not. It’s with Dr. Nelson and I know how we are together. I like him as a professor but I get the feeling he doesn’t really like me or think I’m a know it all.Life is pretty good. I have a new guy and it is going well. I haven’t talked to him yet. I guess as each issue arrives, I’ll correst it then. It gets hard sometimes to talk to him cuz he gets so easily hurt and hates when people are mad at him. I was going to break up with him given his baggage and what-not but I saw him and didn’t. He really is a sweet person and doesn’t mean what he’s doing. It’s like his mind goes on auto-pilot. I couldn’t spell pilot! WTF!!!! Anywho, IDK. I have like no clue what it is I want to do with him. In essence, I love him, but I don’t want to hold him back. I told him it makes me feel like a terrible person because I not only like what we do, I love it. I INDULGE in it and I relish every single nanosecond we’re together. That makes me a cougar! I’m a freakin cougar!!! And I like it!!!!!! I LIKE IT!!!!! I wish sometimes I could like just tell him how I feel about him. I just can’t. It’s like I get caught up in like the moment. If he could only like see inside me. The strange thing is it’s the very same person I really couldn’t stand when I first met him. I really found him to be quite arrogant to say the least and now look at me I call him my Harry Potter because he looks like Harry Potter. I often ask myself how did I get so wrapped up in him. I guess it’s because I really wanted to. It was a time of sadness for me. Cafe dude just dumped me and Jerk left me. The roommate went nuts and I had to move so I was all over the place emotionally. Then here he comes and with one kiss turned my entire world upside down. The bad thing is his age. I feeel this great sense of guilt when I’m with him. I just know his parents think I’m a bad influence on their son when truthfully it is him. He thinks I was molested as a child because I refuse his sexual advances. It’s not that, it’s just I feel guilty because I love how he makes me feel. I know I shouldn’t have that much concern for it but I do. The bad thing is I might miss out on something great cuz I can’t get over this hang up. When I first fell for him i was 11-11-08. We had just finished and it was the best. The intensity was off the scale! I felt so much from him that very moment and it hit me. I was falling for him. Then the next time was 01-11-09. Again after we finished, I looked into his eyes and went wow. I saw something that made me see him differently. For my sake I do hope it’s not only about sex. When ever we get together, we screw and I don’t mind but sometimes I just want to cuddle and relax. I understand it’s good and I enjoy what we do but do we have to do it all the time. We have like the reputation of being like horny dogs in the group and not only that but he tells all our bedroom stories! I surmise he does it cuz he’s proud of what he does and how he makes me feel. I have to say it is very good too but I’m like geez! Hon somethings should like not be told to people!. I’m not even that into sex like that anymore. But again he’s 20 and feels the only way to keep me is to keep me climaxing I guess. I will have to tell him there is more to a relationship than orgasms. But that’s it in a nutshell and the end of the official catch up. If my od can keep my attention this time.