Just a quick side…..

SInce I haven’t written in a while, I’ll give just a quick side. NO, I have not killed anyone although the thought has crossed my mind. Still single in my mind although I do have atleast 2 bf’s right now that I actually call bf. Lately, I’ve been finding myself thinking alot about Greg lately and what we shared. I really don’t know how something so good could go wrong. We really had a great connection but we both decided it was best to seperate. Which is what was best. Could it have been my weight? In my mind yes. This will be the 2nd time I’ve experienced someone so moving. Will the third time be the charm? IDK. I’m not willing to stick around to find out. I’m through with men all together. Even with my bf’s I have now. Even though he’s 6 yrs younger he thinks he can run game on me!!! I bs around with him too. How can you be serious and still young?!!?! He’s stupid to think that I believe him. He knows I don’t. We just never say so but I let him know I know. I’m also struggling with religion. I am having a hard time with this whole God thing. I have been going through so much lately and there is no sight for an end and then I know of bibical contradictions and books that were excluded and all this stuff. It makes me believe that God doesn’t exsist and there is no Heaven. We all just die and go to a burial place and decompose. I will no longer be after my death is all I know. What if there is no Hell? Then what? How do i mentally cope with all this that’s flodding to my head?!!?! I feel like just running away and waiting to die just to ease this philosophical debate in my class and head! Things could be worse but they could be a hell of a lot better. I’m just waiting for the better part.

Oh well. C’est la vive>>>>>