bag is packed

thursday i’ll have 2 kids. crazy.

took off this week of work, unpaid. i don’t even care. i was more than ready to not have to go in to work. and the ladies weren’t my top people, so i don’t really care that i gave them 2 days notice that i wouldn’t be there this week. whatever, they’ll manage.

been trying to think of crap to get done today. but i think i’m done with moving stuff for now. i possibly pulled something trying to shove a organizer in the closet… that didn’t fit, so i had to put it back anyway—after i had taken everything off of it. eventually ended up putting a book shelf in the closet just to have some sort of organization in there. now i have to fold all the clothes, find a spot for them, put them away….blah. most people do this months in advance. i thought i’d just let it go till the end. and realistically, i don’t even really need to do it, i’m just trying to find something to do today.

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alexa texted me and said she was excited to come and visit the baby. i don’t even really want to see her. i’m not excited. i know joe will not be happy, and it will be awkward. hopefully she comes when someone else is there, and then she leaves right away. i just have no interest in rekindling any connection we ever had. she hurt my feelings too badly and i don’t think i’ll ever forgive her for it.  i gave birth to a fucking human being, and she was too busy to call me to congratulate me, much less have time to stop in IN THE LAST YEAR to see him. now all of the sudden she’s excited for the second one? whatever. fuck it.

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i really think i pulled something. i have a dull ache in my side/hip/pelvis area.

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superbowl party yesterday. woo aaron rodgers…. and of course, nobody showed up. my in-laws, brother and sister, and jake/laura/aurelia.  and that was it. go figure. apparently after you have a kid, you turn into the untouchable and people are too cool to stop over, or say hi, or call, or show interest in you. it’s really fucking lame. i wish all my friends would see the shitty way they are. but i guess everyone has their own lives now, that’s what adults do. they move on. they grow. they leave.

at least i still have my husband.

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and i’m out of shit to say. think about. open.;