The Climb

 The Climb 

 
So I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. 
 
I really wanna move forward this time. I don’t know how and all that but I wanna do it. And not in a really over achiever unrealistic hyper manic way but a slow steady realistic way
 
I have a lot of baggage still and it’s only been a week since the shock of that stupid guy. 
 
It didn’t help that I ran into another stupid ex today. And even though the other stupid ex is just that he saw me today acknowledged me and I know he still wants me and even though I wouldn’t go back with him it’s nice to feel that I am not worthless and unwanted like my ex tried to make me feel. I am desirable and a wanted and noticed and I can do way better than him it’s just going to take time since he really cut me down and played a lot of games with me and my mind and heart. 
 
I hate to admit it really but it’s true. 
 
I don’t wanna jump into anything right now, a fling, relationship with Men nothing. I feel so torn up and vulnerable it’s not a good idea of prolly attract a loser guy who would cause me even more stress. 
 
Anyways I bought some yarn and want to start knitting again and my jewellery again too eventually. 
 
I am also I think going to this strip show w a friend of mine woo ho! It’s got the guy from 98 degrees stripping to me honest it looks cheesy as hell but I’ve always wanted to go to a male strip show like thunder from down under so I’m excited. I’m going this weekend hopefully it pans out!! 🙂 
 
I’m feeling better today than the weekend and hopefully I can maintain some momentum with productivity and more positivity. 
 
I deserve it and I really need to start focusing on myself and what makes me happy and my own life. Fuck people and their expectations,I find people always wanna piece of me all the time  I’m sick of it.