Loosing myself

 Loosing myself in a relationship 

 
So I feel like I have lost myself in the relationship. I look back to before O became so engrained and how much I have lost myself. 
 
My focus, my heart my mind all of that. I will not be niave its going to take a bit for me to be compeletly restored. A part of me likes having this attachment because it does keep me focused in other ways. Away from other men and sex and just focused on other things as well. I literally do not really have eyes for anyone else and if I do it’s very fleeting and superficial. I don’t really want anything from guys really. 
 
I know all my poems Seem kind not really sad and dramatic. But I am not doing that awful I have my moments but I am buoyed by y goals and aspirations and faith and hope that this pain and attachment will lessen like grief does after a bit of time. 
 
I am still adjusting to my new neighbourhood, I do love it but I miss the familiarity of where I used to live I have not made a community or home where I am yet. But I have hope I will. 
 
A few things I am looking forward to are: 
I signed up for an online song writting course with a university 
 
I am going to a "Art of Feminine Presense" class this week (its a class on accessing and using feminity in an often male dominated and masculinity praised world) 
 
I found two great jobs wig great pay so just in the process of applying and submitting resumes 🙂 
 
Going to a pampering party with a girl I had met a few weeks ago in awhile. It’s downtown nice condo. Facials, foot scrubs, manis pedis etc.. All for free 🙂 
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Going to do Zumba on Monday 
 
Gonna try to go to improv this week 
 
Btw met a guy today. He was hitting on me hardcore which was kind of awkward but whatever I got some discounted jewellery and since I make some I said maybe I could bring some by and he could sell it on consignment maybe? I dunno he was all like lets get together and talk about jewelry and shit. Lol I told him about my ex and said not sure if I am ready but ill drop by again and chat him out maybe I can mess around with him make a friendship go out to dinner or something who knows? Just as a distraction for now. He works at the mall near me and sells all artist African jewelry, he’s a bit older than me but maybe he’s a good time lol I dunno. Not bad looking but not really like gorgeous. We have a bit in common and he seems intersting easy to talk to who. Lol so who knows? 
 
 
But yeah and hmmm so making jewelry have a place/guidance on where to sell it.