Broke you off

 I broke up with him and he left he bought his ticket to go home out of Canada. 

 
The time I was going to see him when his family was away I guess he realized that I am not worth it and bought a ticket. His flight is tommorow. 
 
So fucking cold. He told me to cry him a river and I said if I did would he drown in it.  
 
It hurts alot. I feel like a fool. I hardly ever fall in love. I protect and have a cold heart because of trauma. 
 
And he doesn’t show any remorse or emotion. Is he a sociopath? That cold? Not able to care or try to reconcile? 
 
I feel very young. Feel very foolish. Yet he said he loved me. Yet we saw eachother almost everyday and talked every night. He said I was his best friend. There was actions at one point that matched that. 
 
Was it all an illusion? I deserve better of course. I wish he never told me he loved me. I wish he never held me. I feel like he is the devil with an ice heart. He knew all I have been through. His heart is tainted. Fucked up. 
 
There is no comming back from this I don’t think. I am so angry. 
 
I never meant to let it get so personal. So deep.fall so hard. 
 
He was the one who first made it like this. My heart and mind was jaded until the end he was still "loving" tricky and slippery. 
 
Fuck him. I fell for the tricks again.