Brag

 Braggart friend 

 
 
So braggarts friend won’t stop bragging and texting me. Before I overlooked it because she was at least suportive of me and in the same boat but now its my knight  this my knight that… She just met the dude once. It seems like she had a great time and that’s good but I mean last week she was all not over her other ex but now she’s bragging about this "high roller" and how much money he has and I used to humour her but now its just annoying. I mean its cool he’s got money you are having a great time but money isn’t everything. Honestly I don’t trust high rollers and rich guys most of the time just as fast as they spend money on you the faster later on they withdraw it or are fucking around with other chicks but you know not everyone shares the same values or wants as me. My friend disses me when the guy i loke isn’t this  or that but I mean we all have our own choices in the end its my choice and relationship so why the fuck does it matter? In sick of ppl trying to put their own preferences on me and opinions. People are differnt for a reason. 
 
I show her a pic of the guy I like and she’s like oh he looks weird he looks like he has a glass eye strange. Flaws are beautiful. 
 
Anyways she wouldn’t stop bragging so I have stopped humouring her and have just started mentioning shot about me and now she’s shut up because she doesn’t have an audience. 
 
We are supposed to go to a concert tomm so hopefully everything cool with that and she shuts up about him more. It’s just like I am still very much hurt about my ex its only been less than a month. An she just throws out these qoutes and bullshit. So I just change the subject. I usually kno better than to share my feelings about it w people but she had been super suportive and now that she’s found new sucker she doesn’t seem to care I guess. So it’s easy for her to say it will make you stronger blah blah blah. 
 
Anyways the next few days will suck I have less than 20 dollars in my bank account until $ comes in and I could ask for some from my mom but we got into a fight and are sort of still chill towards eachother. 
 
I came to her for supprt and she was a bitch about it ring sarcastic and snarky and really cold. This she turns it around and makes it about her so I hung up on her. She’s more immature than me sometimes and she’s like 60 years old. 
 
Once again its picking the wrong people to go to but the thing is I am not dumb they always start out or have their periods where they are super sweet supportive helpful and empathetic than they turn and act cruel and act like you are a bug and annoying when you come to them. I am a big girl I can deal if someone would straight up say they couldn’t supprt me or didn’t know what to say but instead they out digs In and turn it against me and my issues become about them and how they are so down and out and than it becomes an argument and I really don’t like to argue. I think it’s pointless especially if its someone whose my family or friend. I don’t mean resolving conflicts I mean like bickering and getting digs in and all that petty shit. It’s negative energy I don’t need or want. I am grown now and have learned how to resolve things I don’t need to revert into school yard name calling and yelling and bickering. 
 
Sure sometimes I get real fed up but that person really has to have made me angry and they have to be someone I actually give a shit about.
 
Anyways it’s kind of a shot next few days. I am so emotional and fucked up and everyone around me is incapable of deep emotions r showing them at least.
 
They are shallow self centred concerned about stupid shit I don’t care about. I am dealing with shituch deeper. I sometimes try to put myself in that level but I just feel so empty and bored and infufilled. 
 
Only thing that would be good would be sex. Liqour music and zoning out right now. Since everyone around me has failed me. 
 
Ciao