Back 2 school

 Back 2school 

 
So I went back to school today. It was good. Long day but not many classes. Just math and sociology. 
 
It was really hot out today and spent most of the time outdoors today. 
 
There was a street blocked off. So a bunch of vendors and stuff were seeking things etc.
 
My loans have not come in yet. I don’t know if there is a problem or what yet. Hopefully not because I am broke as a joke. 
 
Met a girl today she was okay but the thing with me is I already can sense people and how they "really" are and not from the place where they are friendly and easy going and being nice because its all new so I  just trying to meet enough people o network and gain support through the process really. 
 
I haven’t met anyone I really Click with yet. Only people who have the same classes pretty much. 
 
I just spread myself thin so I can get some intel on the whole situation than I doubt I. Will really hang out with most of the people I have met in my first week or so really. I am not really looking for friends more just guidance and because I feel lost. If people are cool enough and we click cool but I don’t expect to be bffs with anyone yet.
 
I’d much rather talk and hang with guys actually they are more laid back about things than girls are. I find most girls I meet are kind of carry have an edge to them and jealous. Of rather hang out with someone who doesn’t see me as competition or judges me and that’s the sense I am getting from some of the girls already. 
 
My classes were good. One was about a fair and just world about how we expect that things will be good for us if only we do good honourable things which I know from experience is not true but the reasoning behind it was something new how we learn this as children with bribery. That if we clean our rooms than we will get this candy and etc 
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We expect life will always be that clear cut and sane and rationally. But obviously I know personally that’s not true. My dad for example was a fucking Pedo so that’s obviously not a very "fair" thing. 
 
They also talked about how if you were born rich or poor you are less likely to stray from those socio economic statuses. I disagree I was born into wealth and now I am broke. Perhaps if I denied the abuse my life may still be comfy but I doubt it. 
 
I think that there is merit in this and maybe the majority of people born into poverty or richness may stay there possibility but I do believe there are more options than that and it really makes the students and people resign to a fate that may not really be as true as he said. 
 
We do make our own breaks but I do believe it is who we know as well, circumstances marriage etc all comes into play we can make our own breaks if we have a few factors working for us, like who we know mostly. 
 
Anyways good class interesting I find that with my life experience I have lived a lot of what I am learning I may have not been able to tell people the term for what I was going through or learning but I felt and lived it. So a lot of it is just affirming things I already knew and finding out the reasoning behind it and understanding more about things. 
 
I can’t help but see things so personally and not as objectively as I would like right now. I guess it’s because I am still in the thick of it. But I just wanna keep my mouth shit to my classmates and shit for now and just absorb. I have a habit of blurting out personal shit at times 
 
I need to re focus on impulse control and boundaries with people.