Give talk finally

Sunday afternoon, I just came back from the lesson three hours ago and my talk has been done finally.

There were only four students who haven’t given their talks in this module. When the teacher called my name, I was getting nervous. Although I talk to my kids everyday in the classroom, it was a totally different story when I have a class of adults instead of children. You know I could be so confident in front of the kids because I know I am the teacher and what I say must be true and even I make a mistake, they may not know it. But for adults, I am so afraid to give a talk to them. I have no confidence and I am afraid of making wrong sounds or being silly or speaking without fluency and so on.

My heart started to beat unusually fast when I came to the front. My hands and body were trembling.  But anyway I had to start my talk which I had prepared and practised several times last night. My talk was not as fluent as I practised at home and when I’ve finished, the teacher gave me comments. My talk is about my hobby which is writing emails and I mentioned some e-mail friends and how I think about the email thing. The teacher said my content of my talk was good but she wrote down a list of words that I made wrong sounds on.

But anyway, I was glad that my talk was done finally and I was so relax. I didn’t know whether my talk was good or not, but I realized something from the talk which is that after all these days of teaching, I am still so shy to speak in front of people. I used to be very shy when I was a primary kid and all my classmates knew that and so did the teachers. When I was in primary and secondary, no teachers called me to answer questions because they knew I never spoke up and gave them a word, they all gave up on me and no one taught me how to be brave. I never know this behavour grows up with me. Now I am an adult already but I didn’t change, I am still so shy. I think primary education really influences a child’s growth, even throughout his or her whole lifetime.