Feeling sad

Don’t know why today I am feeling so down, not because of the periodically emotional fluctuation that girls usually have, I think. There is something that makes me feeling so sad and depressed for the whole day and makes me to have no mood to do anything.

I start to think about my life. I work hard on Putonghua these days, study the vocabulary and listen to the CD, but I realize there is still a long way for me to go. The whole course takes 2 years. I think the time is too long and I can’t do anything else in these two years, only study Putonghua, everyday is study and my days will be very uninteresting.

Sometimes when I watch Japanese drama, I miss the language and I would like to learn it again. But I have no time and no course to join (since I have quitted it years before and need to sit for exam for re-entry). I am interested in French too, but again there is no time for me to learn. I am afraid I cannot handle two languages at the same time.

These days are the school exam days, all I need to do is to sit in the classroom and look at the children doing exam papers. Usually the exam classes are not my classes. It is the school policy. I will go to some naughty classes which I feel uneasy. What can I do if the children keep talking and disturbing others in the exam? It will bring troubles to me. I prefer to sit peacefully in my class which I know them quite well and I can predict what will happen.

The temperature drops these days but when I look at my wardrobe, I realize that I don’t have enough jackets to wear. I would like to buy some formal jackets for work. I would like to have some skirts too. Oh dressing beautifully is always a big concern for girls.

I really feel sad these days. There are a lot of things to make me feel bad. I cannot work out a solution nor make a good decision. When will the hard time go away?