Theme of the Week 4 – What is something you did as a child, that you miss doing now?

Wow, this week’s theme is challenging for me.  Afterall, I’m still a child in many ways.  Perhaps I grew and regressed, but at this stage, I’m feeling more like a child than an adult.

The more I think, the more I wish I could go back to that childlike emotional state where very few things really bothered me.  Like most children, I would cry and then move on.  Sure I still hold some grudges from preschool, but they are more like memories of Amy eating my favourite crayon.  It was upsetting, and while one day I hope to eat her favourite crayon, I’m over it.

It’s impossible to pinpoint when I started holding on to and obsessing over negative things in my life.  Now they just linger and make me feel terrible for days.  As it was pointed out in a previous note by at @sillysillysandee, I beat myself up over the smallest things and the “what if’s.”

Ironically, her advice is also the advice I give other people.  What if’s are not healthy.  Look at them and using facts dispell them and send them back to the ether where they belong, replacing them with positive thoughts of “I did well.”

I need to get back to that state of caring but not beating myself up.  This should be a goal for the rest of the year.  Small steps and with some hard work I’ll be back to my childlike state of things being upsetting but not soul-crushing.