… The End of my Day

So I was rereading the last entry before I disappeared for five months and Tigger hasn’t deteriorated as much as I thought she would have.

Tonight she seems to have settled down on the couch.

Her hip is sticking out, that has to effen hurt.  She is going to the vet tomorrow.  I would rather she not; she pees herself every time she’s there, but this is more than just a pain issue.  Another month another $1,200 vet bill.  Ack… I try not to be bitter or upset, but in 2018 she cost me an average of $694/month.

For me to be able to go away for 16 days in August, I need to save for Tiggers home care person, and at the rate, I’m spending money on here that will be difficult.  Especially since my new laptop will cost me $285/month to pay it off without interest.  And the emergency Tigger death fund I have to replenish to make sure I have money to put her to sleep in an emergency.

I would never have thought I would struggle on $2,800 a month with no debt other than the financing on my new laptop.

My first night back on Tinder in six months or so and I got a match.  I was kind of surprised.

I don’t want Tigger to die, but I also want her to die soon.  I feel terrible about the reason; it’s to save money.

Being 100% honest, her quality of life is probably between 60 and 70 percent.
Mentally she is very good for someone of 16.  Her liver score while high isn’t in the “danger” teritory yet. Other than her hip; which happened a few days ago, she is in decent health.

And for whatever reason, I went all emotional and balled my eyes out all day about having to put her down, rather than being my usual self and investigating/looking logically at the situation.

Okay, time to eat chocolate.  It was a gift, between that and the 2 L bottle of Dr Pepper I got; I ordered a can, with my pizza – cheat weekend!