One thing I am grateful for Medhia dying before Christmas

Wow, I think that’s the first time I’ve written that Medhia is dead. Dead, gone, never going to pet her again.
There is a lot of good that came with Medhia crossing the bridge before Christmas. Actually, I’ll make two points.
1. She is out of pain and already healthy, killing socks, and eating all the grass she desires
2. I don’t have to worry the 72 hours I’m away how she is doing
3. The pain starts now; it means I can heal going into 2018 instead of dealing with it then

That was three. I genuinely am grateful for a lot of things that came from this early demise. I just can’t stop focusing on the crappy parts, even while thinking of the good that came from all of this.
I really miss her right now. It was so strange and hard to tell what time it was for the last 18 months have been timed based on her schedule.
I should probably paragraph these rather than make them seem like one long paragraph. I also realized I should have tagged the posts or put them in a chapter.
I have no desire to eat, cook or anything related to food. Not healthy for me. I can’t let myself get sick over this. I’m stronger than that.
I really need someone to talk with tonight. The loneliness is worse than yesterday.
The reality is sinking in that she will never be home the way she was, but she is coming back, both in an urn and as a spirt.
One thing that worries me is that this will be the first time Tigger has ever been alone.
Going to try and find food.

MJG

“for I have sworn upon the altar of god eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.” ~ Thomas Jefferson