Medhia, I know you’re at peace, and I’m starting to do better.

Medhia, part of me wants to curse you, as I often did. The bathroom was always our spot. Now I can’t use it without crying, remembering, and wishing you were still here.
For 15 years you were my bathroom buddy. If it was joining me in the shower; and after your fall, laying on the rug waiting for me to finish, if it was a quick pee, an extended contemplation of life on my throne, or in your later years just sitting on the floor together chatting and petting the bathroom was ours.
That was our special place. That sounds weird, but we both know it was. I knew you wanted attention when you were sitting in it, hopefully following me upstairs wishing I was going to the bathroom to give you love.
Even the last few weeks, after I did my thing, I would come see you, pet you, love you, try to get licks, and just remind you how special you are.
One day I won’t mention you as much in my diary. Know that it’s not because I’ve forgotten you or don’t love you or don’t miss you, I will always!
It’s because I’ve healed from the loss of you here in this world. Like the humans and animals before you; and the few losses you helped me recover from, one day the grief stops, and the memories become happy again.
With the secrets we have shared, I know you know exactly what I mean.
While I was cleaning the basement, I found one of your secret puke spots. As gross as it was, I didn’t want to clean it. It was part of you, containing your DNA, it was who you were and what you had become.
You always puked on the first day in December 2002 when you entered my life by chance until December 22nd, 2017 when you went to sleep for the last time.
I’ve been feeding a new squirrel today that’s covered in ice. When I got you, that’s how you looked. Encaged in this crust of snow and ice, cold and scared.
Wow, a bathroom break made me cry and triggered a 400-word entry. Progress.
Now back to my regularly scheduled day.

MJG

“for I have sworn upon the altar of god eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.” ~ Thomas Jefferson