Medhia, here are some of the reasons I feel guilty

Medhia, these are some of the reasons I feel guilty. I’m so sorry I didn’t work harder, treat you better and make sure I made time for you when you wanted it because you always made time for me.

When you were having problems with your pills, I just stopped giving you medication. I should have taken you to the vet to try something else.

I didn’t get you regular checkups to see how your various levels were and if the kidney disease was progressing.

The night before you died, when you were having problems peeing to the point you were spasming in frustration in the litter box, I should have taken you to the emergency room. I let you suffer for hours longer than needed

I know you wanted; especially the last two weeks, to sleep with me. I didn’t let you.

Once I left you for 22 hours with only having one meal. That was beyond cruel.

There were times you wanted to go outside, and I just let you sit there looking out the window.

The first visit to the vet should have happened sooner. There was no excuse for not monitoring your health better.

So many times I saw you sitting in the bathroom, even moving to indicate you wanted to see me, and I rushed past you too busy with my day to take a few seconds to show you the love you wanted.

Most of the time I couldn’t protect you when Tigger and Gizmo would gang up on you. That had to be terrifying. I’m so sorry.

There is more, but please accept this as a blanket apology for everything I’ve done wrong over the last 15 years. None of it was done intentionally. I love you so much, and your presence has left a crater in this world.

Even the squirrels miss you.

Medhia, I’ve said it all so many times I feel like a broken record. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be who I am today. The secrets we shared, emotions we shared all helped me through tough times.

Knowing you were coming and cuddling or distracting me was so comforting. One of the things that makes this so hard is my support is what I’m grieving.

MJG

“for I have sworn upon the altar of god eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.” ~ Thomas Jefferson