Medhia fell asleep for the last time at 11:24 a.m. Rest in Peace my love

Medhia passed away peacefully this morning after an 18 month battle with kidney disease.  She will be missed, and back home soon just in a different form.

We made it through the night, and this morning she went to the vet at 9:45 a.m.  Just to make sure she was at the point I thought she was, I had some lab work done.

She was so much sicker than I thought:

• She was developing an ulcer in her mouth
• The most likely cause of her inability to pee was a blockage of either a stone or cyst
• She had a bladder infection
• Her kidney function levels were in the high to extremely high level
• Her liver was infected
• She had high blood pressure which also made her 99 per cent blind
• Her urine showed lots of protein and was clear as water

The vet offered a treatment that would have consisted of her staying at the vet for a few nights, a regiment of IV fluids, antibiotics and a few other procedures.  He then told me not to waste my money.

The vet and I have a good relationship; he knows I don’t want my pets to suffer.  After I mentioned I came to peace with what I had to do at 4 a.m.; he didn’t let me finish the sentence, he told me that was the right choice.

It was hard to do.  Holding her head while she was going to sleep for the last time.  But she didn’t die alone, and she is out of pain.

Sleep well Medhia.  Thank you for the beautiful 15 years. I’m sorry it had to end this way.  I’m looking forward to you coming home.

To all the people who left me notes, thank you.  They were very much appreciated, and I will reply over the next day.

It was amazing to see all the support I got from all sorts of people.  I still don’t know how they knew.  I told two people.  One of them was my mom, the other, Rommate 1.

The tears stopped after a couple of hours, but every so often I do something or see something and start to miss her.  The last time was coming out of the bathroom.  I’m used to her coming in and keeping me company, and this time that didn’t happen.  After I was finished, I started walking to my room to look after Medhia.  I quickly remembered she wasn’t there and headed back downstairs a little upset and really missing Medhia.

All week I wanted to take her picture and I didn’t.  Last night I was glad I didn’t.  I don’t want to remember her for how she was during her last day, with one exception.

Last night at 11 p.m., she just woke up and looked amazing.  She didn’t look sick at all.  She gave me lots of licks, ate, drank, and even peed without problems.  It was like she wasn’t ill at all.

The worst part is the lulls when there is no one to talk with or text.  Especially now; it’s 3:10 p.m., and I should be just finishing her feeding.

I miss her, and it hurts.  This feels so unfair.