Just shitty.

Just shitty.

Today has been a tough day emotionally, one of those days where giving up seems like an easy way to get out of everything.

First off, the lesser of two disappointments. Neither of my roommates paid rent yet. Since they have always paid on the 1st, I figured I would use my leftover money from last month to buy a watch. I didn’t like it, returned it today. But I bought a second watch, which I love, so I’m out the $300 until I get my refund. I hope that made sense.

Because no one told me they would be late, I now do not have enough money for Tigger’s medication which runs out in eight days. Nor do I have enough to pay my laptop payment which means I will end up paying the interest on it. I’m not impressed with the fact neither told me they would be late. They both shit the bed on this one.

They still haven’t, and I’m going to wait until Saturday to chat with them and see if they pay me before then.

This would be a huge deal, except I can take money out of my emergency fund. However, this isn’t an emergency, and I don’t want to get in the habit of running to it every time something happens. I’m not that guy.

What is bothering me; this happened while I was out walking tonight, is how my biological family treated me. I want to get closure but have no way of getting in contact with either of the two who just cut me out for no reason and without warning.

I would do it by phone but I’m sure I will get the voice mail, and that doesn’t do anything other than make me look like an ass for the things I would say.

I know exactly what I want to say.

That I wasn’t looking for anything more than information and love, I don’t want anything else. I retired at 40, have enough money and well connected. I have everything but a family, which they promised I would be a part of.

How my father was kind and generous to everyone, clearly they didn’t get that trait.

Explain how much it hurt to be thrown away by my biological family for the second time.

What disgusting people I think they are for the way they treated me. I will never forgive them, and it’s their loss.

TIme for apples.