I’m not counting the days since you went on your journey across the bridge. Godspeed Medhia.

I’m not.  I’ve done that before and it made it worse.  It’s nearly 48 hours now.  That’s the end of the count-up.

Dinner was… well a box of stuffing made in the microwave. Not very anything positive but I ate it. Somehow I missed it up. Making it is simple: stir, cook, eat. As someone who is a trained chef, I’m clearly distracted.

Medhia is dead
Not coming back
At peace
Where is she now
Future unlocks past
Why is that important
Past opens the door
Circle of life
Welcome home again

I’ve seriously considered posting my mobile number in case anyone wanted to reach out. Then the realization – I’m not desperate, that even happened before the “fears” of just leaving it out there.

I want an entry about more than just Medhia. Not that I don’t love her or miss her. I would give up my fortune and work eight hours a day the rest of my life to have her back for one more good year. That isn’t going to happen. I can face reality – don’t like it!

I shouldn’t have had that Dr Pepper with dinner. I’m enjoying them and proud that in two day’s I’m on my fourth. A few months ago, I would be well into my second six-pack by now.

MJG

“for I have sworn upon the altar of god eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

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December 23, 2017

@Axalotal: Hon, you’re doing okay. I love that stuffing!!! I make it up, and eat it for a meal now & then, as well, lol. Good job on cutting down on the pop!! Have you thought any more about the Marco Polo app? Just popped into my mind!! ~bighugzz ~Lois

December 23, 2017

Stuffing is the best meal @butterfuly4him. Thanks for the encouragement. I’ve pretty much cut sugar content down to zero since June. I’m just celebrating the holidays and Mehdia’s journey. Starting Jan 1 2018 I’m going back to very little; hopefully no sugar at all.

I sent you a private message on here with my marco polo username. I can’t remember what it is now.

December 23, 2017

@Butterfly4him see note above

December 23, 2017

@Axalotal: I can’t see a “note above” from you. Where is it? I have looked at notes on this entry, sorry, I can’t find yours?

December 23, 2017

@butterfly4him somehow it was private. It’s there now.

December 23, 2017

@butterfuly4him Stuffing is the best meal @butterfuly4him. Thanks for the encouragement. I’ve pretty much cut sugar content down to zero since June. I’m just celebrating the holidays and Mehdia’s journey. Starting Jan 1 2018 I’m going back to very little; hopefully no sugar at all.

I sent you a private message on here with my marco polo username. I can’t remember what it is now.

December 23, 2017

I am so sorry about your dear little friend passing on. I wish I could say something really profound and helpful, but after a year-and-a-half, I still have issues missing my little fuzzy friend on a daily basis; I know it may not seem like it, but each day does slowly get better ~hug~

December 23, 2017

@Wildrose_2 yes I expect too much from myself. Since this is my fourth furry friend loss, I think I can just run the obstacle course by cheating and still get in shape.

Things are up and down. I’m still feeling guilty. I’m just accepting that she’s died despite being there when it happened.

December 23, 2017

~hugs~

December 23, 2017

@wildrose_2 15 years together. Over the years she gave me a lot of care. I tried my best to repay that over the last 18 months.

There is no reason to feel guilty, she went to the other side in peace and virtually pain free. It’s the small things which normally wouldn’t matter. Looking back with a broken heart, I’m grabbing at straws. Someone needs to be blamed, and I’m choosing me. I could just as easily be angry at the vet. He’s the one who pushed the plunger. But it was at my urging. The vet just did his job.