Life as a Stunted Adult

My life right now is an interesting situation. I am almost 29 and still live with my parents. I of course lived with them all through high school and then through most of college during the summer which is normal for the most part. I had an apartment my senior year of college and then moved into a different one with my boyfriend and a friend. I had a job at McDonald’s all through college, and when I graduated I stayed on as a manager until a job opportunity arose. Well almost a year went by and nothing I could take came up and I was denied positions due to lack of experience. (frustrated doesn’t begin to cover it) Then my student loans started to have to get paid off and I made the horrible decision to go through Sallie Mae and got SHAFTED with over a $3,000 a month bill for just those loans! I had another private loan through Chase and a federal loan through Navient. (That is a whole other rant of frustration.) So after a little less than two years I was back in my parents house with my boyfriend at 22.

That boyfriend and I split up due to him being an immature and irresponsible human who couldn’t hold a job. And I finally got a job in a grooming salon where I started as a bather and trained to groom dogs! And ever since then I have been living with my parents trying to pay my loans and not drag them down as they are my cosigners. I was luckily able to consolidate my Sallie Mae loans so I am not paying that much anymore, but it is still quite a good chunk of change. Now at 28 I still live with them, still fight to pay my loans every month, and still feel like a stunted adult.

I am very lucky to have a good relationship with my parents. However, my mother still treats me like a teenager. She can’t let me be an adult. She is always over my shoulder, nagging, babying etc. If I am more than 10 minutes late getting home she is fussing when I get home. I know it is out of love. I am her only child and it took ten years for her to have me. But good lord it drives me nuts. I never feel like an adult because I am always under her roof and always under her eye.

I know I know, “Well move out! Get an apartment or a house!” Yeah that would be great if it was monetarily feasible on my own. I have two horses, two dogs, four cats, and a couple small animals that would need to go with me. The horses I have had since high school, the dogs both fell into my lap, and even the cars were during college. So for me to move out into an apartment I would need to sell my horses (not happening) or board them both for anywhere from $400-$700 each a month not including their medical care. Then finding an apartment that allows multiple pets and that would be found for no less than $1,500 a month not including utilities and any extra pet rent. So yeah, not feasible.

“Well what about a house?!” While it is more feasible, I do have money put away for a small down payment, still very difficult to find something that can house my horses as well as not cost me $250,000 plus. It is a very difficult situation and not something I could do alone. So now as I an engaged W and I are looking for homes but even together that is still a lot. However I can eventually purchase my parents house next Oct. 2021 for much less than we could find an equivalent property and home anywhere else. So I continue to be a stunted adult until W and I can move in together.

I know this is a rantish, whiny, and all over the place statement. But this has been building up for so long I had to get it out. I feel stunted, not like a real adult, not like anything more than a teenager living with my parents. And it is frustrating…