Hey ya'll. it's me. read. snack. fart. i don't care what ya do. just leave lots of cool notes and send donations to the 'feed the poor white girl' fund. operators are standing by to receive your monetary donation of 30, 40, or 50 dollars. remember, we all need something to blow our money on, maybe this can be yours.
call long-distance (on YOUR bill, i'm poor remember?)
1-555-867-5309
fine print: only credit cards will be accepted and we will abuse the priviledge of having your credit card number many times over the next 6 months, at which time you will embarrassingly have your card cut up over an expensive dinner with a very attractive person who you want more than anything to impress. please be advised that we will not be held liable for any traumatic or humiliating damage caused by our exploitation of your trust. thank you and have a wonderful day!!
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