"... there's bars on all the windows and they're counting up the spoons."

Just a crazy guy trying to figure out what the heck is going on in his head and in his life.

-Originally from NY, I'm just trying to make my way in a new country. Does the fun ever start?

Latest Entry

Oh well…

December 18, 2008
So I cna't communitcate.... it was put to me again by my counselfor.  It's nice to finally have a ckounselor who whilly is hittih n on topes that are clse to home... That makc sense.  She has brough forth more issues to me in just a few session thatn all o f mny years combinded. &h...
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Recent Entries

  • Thoughts…
    December 6, 2008
    Just out of work... tired... had an actual call out today and it went very well.  Just have to remember the good points:  I've struggled in the past, but today was fine.  I have plenty to offer and I need to speak up, like I did today. Other than work, life is falling apart.  ...
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  • the end is at hand
    December 4, 2008
    it all sucks... i hate it all... I hate everyone.... this blows.   I give up.  Really.   why fight it.
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  • So alone….
    December 2, 2008
    Yeah Great.... I've tried to get out and break this silence thing, try to be around people. It ends up being me and this other girl... well, this other girl who sits at the bar like me.  I don't talk, she doens't talk.  We are on our own.  so  alone. sucks. I  try, but I&...
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  • Fading away…
    November 29, 2008
    Had my umpteenth meeting with a psychologist / psyhciatrist the other day.  How many is this now?  LIke 4 in the past year.  THis stupd system doesn't allow you to get the care you need, but that's another journal.  Anywho she was Polish, and, for some reason, the Polish healt...
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  • Happy Fuckin Thanksgiving….
    November 26, 2008
    Well here it is, Thanksgiving.  My absolute favorite holiday.  And where I am I?  At work.  Not really upset about that.  What really irks me is not one god damn member of my family or any of my friends called to say Happy Thanksgiving.  NONE!  No text, no e-mai...
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  • Friggin feelings….
    November 24, 2008
    Yah know I don't get thses stupid sheet things.  My counselor gave me these stupi CBT sheets and they don't make sense!  I'm trying and trying to use them and they just frustrate me even more.  They're supposed to be helping me but I'm ready to throw them into the fucking fire. I'l...
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  • Tired of it all….
    November 22, 2008
    SIGH... Seems the same is happeneing again.  Back in the same rutt.  Back in the same hole.  Need to be motivated?  Still so angry.  Just don't care.  Why don't I care?  I don't know.  I can't be bothered.  Where does caring get me?  I try to hard...
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  • And the hits keep coming…
    November 20, 2008
    Friggin great....   So my "wife" got laid off.   Or, as they call it here in this fucked up place, made "redundant".  What the fuck does that mean?  Sounds so wrong.  Well, she's now redundant.  I guess it shouldn't affect me, but, it involve...
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  • Still tired…
    November 14, 2008
    God I am still just exhausted.  I don't wanna do anything because I just don't have the energy.  I need sleep.  What will it take for me to just get some sleep.  I'm sick of tossing and turning.  My last good day of sleep was last week and that was one of the only days&he...
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