Recent Entries

• Snowy Thoughts

  April 18, 2018

  I just know that I am not feeling right.  I have a lot of wonderful things and people in my life...good opportunities and a chance to keep working towards a better, healthier life.  But I am so sad, and feel so lost and question everything that I'm doing whether it be good or bad.  What…

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• Nothing New

  April 18, 2018

  Oh, Wisconsin, you can  be a wretched and depressing state to live in.  We are all just so ready for the snow and cold weather to be done.  I hope that today is the last of it.  The depressive cloud over all of us needs to lift! I'm climbing and falling while trying to become…

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• If I was Honest.

  April 10, 2018

  It's heavy on my mind today how sad it is that we have to hide ourselves so much from the world if we want to be seen as having it together and being happy.  I am happy on many days.   And many days I give myself props for feeling like I "have my shit together". …

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• Back at it.

  April 9, 2018

  Wow, I just read some of the posts I put on 7 years ago and it makes me very sad to see that I'm still struggling with the same issues, or the big main issue of alcohol dependency.  It is fitting that I re-open my diary today...after I had done so well trying to stay…

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• Scared

  April 22, 2012

  I never want to make myself hurt the way I have been doing for the last many years.  Tell me why, why the hell would this side of me come out so strongly when I'm finally in a loving, wonderful realtionship?  I cannot go on living this way, and I refuse to.  My world might soo...

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• My Dear

  March 18, 2012

  Dear *#(&, You know I keep telling you that I can't leave you when I'm still so in love with you.  I say WE can't leave each other, because there is still so much love in our hearts....As true as this is....I can't leave because I'm scared.  I'm scared that I won't be ok, that…

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• Mess

  March 7, 2012

  I feel like I am an absolute mess over something that is important, but should not be ruling my life as it is.  Deciding what you want in life is supposed to be a somewhat natural occurance, isn't it?  I feel like I've been trying to force myself to choose and make a decision for…

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• Broken

  February 1, 2012

  I want to move on and move past everything bad and negative in my life...but the cycles continue to repeat themselves... If I lose my bf, I'm going to be losing one of the best men I have ever met or loved.  In saying this, I'm not sure what to think of our relationship right…

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• Help…

  December 26, 2011

  I don't know who to turn to for help...I'm guessin AA is where I belong...I am hurting myself on a weekly basis because of drinking.  It's ruining me...my suicidal thoughts are on full blast when I'm struggling with this...I don't want to be here anymore.  I don't want to hurt myself an...

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