Recent Entries

• 2021

  January 9, 2022

  It's been a hell of a 6 months since my last entry. I've been on an emotional journey with my mental health and only just now have the energy to acknowledge it. Picking up from where I left off... my private counselling session did not go well and I struggled on for a number of…

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• Keeping it positive

  July 11, 2021

  The last couple of weeks have been good. My first therapy session went well. Marianne (counsellor) gave me a lot to think about and good tips to implement to stop me getting in to the state I've been finding myself in. She suspects I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder, which wasn't a surprise, but...

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• Little steps

  June 27, 2021

  After feeling so low last week, I booked my first every appointment with a therapist. I’ve ended up going private, so the cost will be a bit of a blow, but with the way I’ve been feeling I need to put my health first. I tried to access some counselling through the NHS, but was…

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• Anxious

  June 20, 2021

  Life is feeling really tough just now. My mental health is at an all time low and my support network feels non-existent. I’m finding it hard to differentiate between what is actually happening and the negative thoughts in my head. I was at a work colleagues house for a BBQ today. Saw people I hav...

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• Thankful

  January 17, 2021

  I embraced a couple of lazy mornings this weekend - something I've not done in years. Even during this whole pandemic, I've been up, like the lark I am, out of bed well before 8AM. It was nice, just to listen to J breathing next to me in the darkness. and feel his warmth. Eventually,…

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• Time to change.

  January 10, 2021

  The garden looks empty with all the leaves missing from our trees. It's been frosty the last week or two, but the weather seems to have taken a damp turn today. I do miss the white, fresh feeling of frost and snow. It always makes me feel like the world has been wiped clean, ready…

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• Rambling

  December 21, 2020

  I can’t stop the feeling that the world as we knew it has disappeared forever. The last 4 days have been absolute chaos, with hints of more to come. I’m terrified. It’s been a hellish day. Work is very hard at the moment, every client I speak to has a heart wrenching story to tell.…

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• Bah-humbug

  November 27, 2020

  I’m finding it hard to stay positive. The absence of friends is getting harder to handle and I find speaking on zoom and social media platforms lacking in real connection. There’s nothing to say anymore. No news, no plans. I wake up, switch on my computer, work from home, turn it off. 9 - 5.…

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• Lists

  November 22, 2020

  Nostalgia has been strong the last few days. I miss the simple things that made me happy. Meeting friends for coffee. Drinking at a bar. Eating out. Small talk in a shop.. at the office, in the street. The hiss of steam and smell of coffee  in a cafe... misty windows from wet coats. Smiling at&he...

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