18+, sex positive, educated kinkster. Alas,
"Even under a thousand masks, the sadness will still be there"
Years ago I had a diary on here....Well, 11 years later, here we go again....

Reading past some of these, seems like my bitterness and depression truly run deeper than i remember....

Latest Entry

The Curse of the Sad Mummy

August 25, 2024
Me and benji talked, he doesnt want to be with me that way, not anymore. He reassured me it wasnt anything against me, but i know its because i just....have no personality anymore. I wouldve just taken him down with me. But it still hurts. Knowing that the person who kept reassuring me that i&hel...
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Recent Entries

  • The Hole
    August 24, 2024
    Been feeling so worthless. Just my thoughts constantly saying "you are good for nothing" over and over again, like a mantra. I wake up just to have these words jump me, keeping me from getting out of bed, wanting to go back to sleep just so it will stop. Sometimes it changes to what my…
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  • Just to be.
    August 23, 2024
    I was in a 5 year relationship that ended in him leaving back to his hometown (thousands of miles away) last year. After 2 years living together, and him being unemployed promising change everytime, he ran away, told me he would come back in a month and then said that he wasnt coming back. Now&he...
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  • The 11 Year Time Skip: A Re-introduction
    August 23, 2024
    Years ago, I used to write on here, when i was a teenager, and stopped during my early 20s. My life now, is at a point where....well, im miserable for the most part. So Im back here, seeing if writing down my thoughts will help. Most of my rambling will probably just be run on…
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  • Burn the world
    July 23, 2013
    i just want to trash everything, i want to break this laptop, i want to throw my nightstand, i want to break the window, i want my dad to retaliate and try to stop him and just punch him in the face, grab the iron bar in my room and hold it against his throat,…
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  • Lithium
    July 8, 2013
    3 years ago, someone i loved said this to me "dont get too attached" im afraid i took these words to heart anyone who has ever felt that i didnt care about them, im sorry, but these words always seem to just get truer and truer as i get older im not good at talking…
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  • Its lonely in this cloud
    June 18, 2013
    hello old friend, long time no see....well written its been....hard my life is going nowhere, im lonely and stuck in this rut, i feel im addicted and have so many problems, with no one to talk to, no one to reach out to you are the one who hears me out diary or well blog,…
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  • A cycle of alienation, changing for the worse
    September 17, 2012
    i have not updated this thing in such a long time.... well, from where i left off, i had just lost my best friend smiley....that was waaay back on december.... on january i started hanging out with other people, and i got close to someone who would also become my best friend, kizel shes great,&he...
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  • Sing me to my Nightmares <3
    December 8, 2011
    yet another sleepless night its ok, i have my music my industrial my triphop my goth music oh music, youre always there when i need you by my side...or well, by my ears sing me a lullaby....sing me to sleep....sing me to my nightmares... where the surreal is my reality sing to me....play your ins...
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  • fuck them
    December 2, 2011
    i miss you, i really do miss you, come back to me smiley, dont let the christians brainswash you like that....dont get addicted to them like dat.....come back to us....you can t eave me alone here, please dont...
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