Recent Entries

• day 7 books and tv

  December 23, 2023

  I’m watching the Netflix show titled something about changing your mind on the various types of psychedelics. It’s quite interesting and I wonder if something like that would help me. Though my depression isn’t chronic. It’s more “seasonal” I would say. It comes and goes whenever it wants. It use...

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• The game of life and how to play it

  December 22, 2023

  A book with Christian undertones about going through life as if what ever is yours to be is in line to happen. Gods will. Short read. Feel blessed and you will be blessed

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• second entry day 5

  December 21, 2023

  I did about 5 loads of laundry. Wiped some counters down and ate again. I’d say that’s all wins. I still have about 5 loads left though. I don’t where I’ve been the last month. The haze. I keep yawning. I think that’s another side effect of my meds. It’s cold here now. I think…

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• drawing blank

  December 21, 2023

  I’m drawing a blank here. Im not sure what drew to start writing here. For public view of all things. I used to write poetry things that would normally flood my brain in the shower. I noticed a couple years back that doesn’t happen anymore. I wondered what that was all about. I haven’t been…

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• somber like

  December 20, 2023

  My meds feel like they might be working. I’ve had an appetite for the last 2 days. There’s no longer a heavy cloud over me. My thoughts are still racing but I don’t feel heavy. Constantly pushed to the ground by who knows what force. I sang in the car last night. That’s always a…

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• obligations

  December 19, 2023

  I have to keep on going. I have responsibilities. Little ones to feed. Laundry to be done. My room is a mess. My house is a mess. I’m surprised I had enough in me to put the tree up but then again a Xmas tree is one of my very lovely memories of childhood. I…

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• this year

  December 18, 2023

  It’s been a year. I sit here and try to put a smile on my face yet I’m so angry. I’m so angry that I’m here again. I have to perform. Just last month I had a vision for myself. I had plans. I had comfort I had direction. Stability. Today it’s all gone and…

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• In my head

  December 17, 2023

  I live in my head. I have since I can remember. I play all things and everything over and over in my head all day and sometimes all night. When I wake I play a different story one that leads me into my dreams and then I dream about it. I can’t sleep lately. My…

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