Recent Entries

• Feeling raw

  May 22, 2024

  I started with a new therapist last week. Virtually. I liked her. So far, anyway. A very typical first session; lots of interview questions. Which meant, basically sharing a small part of every trauma in my lifetime. Ripping off many scabs. But, not really working on healing any of them. She aske...

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• email with a friend

  April 22, 2024

  I had a friend reach out this week. She and I met up not long ago. I am one of the few friends that knows the pain she's going through in her relationship. She and I used to be roommates. We went to high school together. I was in her wedding - 20-something years ago!…

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• Caleb – third time is the charm?

  January 7, 2024

  Caleb told Eric (again) today that he wants to move in with us. Caleb admitted he's been smoking again (not sure if he meant vaping or weed - but maybe both) and doesn't like the choices he's been making. He feels like he needs a reset and once again really wants to move from CA…

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• Long week

  December 1, 2023

  Eric and I managed a decent FL trip for Thanksgiving. I had my moments where it felt hard to not address the elephant in the room and I certainly made a few snarky comments. He was amazing. He usually is. My family loves him. Thanksgiving Day at Holli and Joe's was wonderful - full of…

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• Fuck

  November 22, 2023

  There’s so much to say for another post, I had a right sided thyroidectomy two weeks ago, 11/8. I’m healing. I finally have some energy back the last two days. I took two and a half weeks off work. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I go back to work Monday. I think I’ll be physically capable of…

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• Thyroid – Cancer Worries

  July 31, 2023

  It's been a long couple of months and I still have awhile to go to figure out my health issues. Maybe 13 years ago, give or take, I had a benign thyroid nodule that was aspirated. Nothing really was required after that. My thyroid function had been normal. About 2 years ago, I had my…

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• Life and depression

  May 12, 2023

  It's been brewing for awhile now, but as everything has piled on, the last two days I have found myself in an epically large funk and depression. I've felt similar in my past. I at least know the mired of things that have piled on to cause this crushing and crippling feeling. It's officially blow...

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• Matt’s birthday

  March 24, 2023

  Today is Matt's birthday. I guess it still is your birthday, even after you've died. It's been awhile since I have cried about him. Even in therapy. I've been more angry. Maybe even moved passed that a bit and just accepted where we are at. I have had a lot of emotions and most I…

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• Ari

  March 1, 2023

  Eric and I are headed to CA on Saturday for 9 days. His middle son will celebrate his 18th birthday. I still haven't met his kids. I have told Eric he is in charge, I take his lead. I am in no rush. Although truthfully, I am scared to meet them! It feels safer being…

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