Recent Entries

• “I think you’d be real”

  April 10, 2012

  We laid there, tangled, naked. Slow caresses and trailing fingers. Longing looks and gentle kisses. She looked over my entire body for the first time. I placed my hand on her arm and caught her attention. Her eyes were kind and full of awe. "I'm trying to decide what color you would be.&quot...

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• Re-finding myself

  April 2, 2012

  I own a house now. Today I wandered into my backyard, to a tent that is set-up to dry out in preparation for the upcoming season. I crawled inside the tent. there was a stream of light, warmth, cascading through the open flap. I set an alarm on my phone, and laid myself down in…

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• Seven Years.

  November 12, 2011

  Seven years ago on November 13, 2004 was the last time that I got up on a stage and performed. That morning I was exhausted from the night before. It was Carver@Vagavbond and I was doing a monologue about an islamic woman who was chosen to be a suicide bomber. BUt the night before I&nbs...

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• Dreams.

  March 26, 2011

  I've been having very vivid dreams lately again. Yet. they aren't scary. In last night's dream I was away for a camping event and there were all girls. It may have been some sort of band camp come to think of it. Or perhaps just a meditation/get away type of event. Anyhow, there was a…

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• On St. Valentine’s Day…

  February 13, 2011

  The wish of a young, dying woman 6 & 1/2 yrs ago: "If I could wish for anything, it would be that I could live until march." "Oh yeah, why March?" "Because then I could tell you that I love you on Valentine's Day." She died in November. On February 14, 2005, I re...

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• Logistical Talking.

  December 8, 2010

  We talked. We always talk. It's why we actually do, beyond all odds and understandings, work. I can't get past the boy thing. The unprotected sex. The fact it was with a boy. the fact that it was a friend. The fact that she still pines for him and a manner of sex that I physically…

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• Yeah, it’s like that…

  December 8, 2010

  "I love you as well. I wish that I were more sucessful, or better looking, or more talented, or something .... 'more'... it would make me feel like I actually deserved you instead of just lucking out."

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• It matters.

  December 5, 2010

  Sometimes I just want to sleep with a woman who wants to sleep with a woman. Not a woman who wants to sleep with a man. Yeah, it's one of *those* mental head-space days. The winter is always rough and this year hasn't been an easy one. We've gone from her saying "I think if I…

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• Self-Worth

  November 16, 2010

  This is becoming my diary to have dark-rants in. Two weeks ago, I asked my boss for a raise. I'm not a 'general assistant' anymore... and if you're going to build my perminiant job over my head, at least give me a raise before you kick me to the curb. Especially if you expect me to…

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