Recent Entries

• Extra little push.

  December 4, 2010

    I shouldn't have gone to see her. I splashed the cold water up into my face. Breathe. Breathe. It had been to long since I had last felt her touch, smelt the seduction of cigarettes. Her cigarrettes. My independance was fake. For months I ignored the gnawing in my stomach, the random ...

  Continue Reading...

• Finger Soldiers

  August 3, 2010

  The image portrayed on the back of my eyelids is my only solace of comfort. I wait now to dream; to wake; to dream. My fingers itch for acidity, the backs of my teeth longing for the ever-refreshing graze of knuckles. Meals stretched along psychological conveyer belts, gray plate after gray plate...

  Continue Reading...

• Inside the Brain of the Pill Bottle.

  December 16, 2009

    Sober words are never exchanged between him and I, now. He moves in and out of me, hip bone against hip bone every morning and night. I felt a numb patch grow from inside of me, spreading up my legs and past my pelvis, layering the inside of me like psycho-sexual, ...

  Continue Reading...

• Matching Cutlery.

  June 19, 2009

    Me. Her. Uncomfortable leather chairs. "Close your eyes. Picture your future. Your family. Your relationships. Tell me what you see." My vision was coated by the blackness from the inside of my eyelids for a few moments; And then I saw it. I was neurotic, my face pulled over my s...

  Continue Reading...

• Without a Life Jacket.

  June 7, 2009

    I was in the wrong appointment. My diet plan sat staring at me, my dietitian discarded behind it in a black chair. I cried into my sleeves, trying to stop the tears that came from nowhere and meant nothing. She offered me a tissue, fumbling for the box and moving around the portion perfect...

  Continue Reading...

• Binge Eating Words.

  April 24, 2009

  The room fell silent. I waited for the 5 words that where inevitable. The words she probably rehearsed over and over, to get them perfect. To not offend. I put up a wall within myself before the words slipped from her mouth. "You're looking healthy. More weight." The scale tol...

  Continue Reading...

• Does this suit look tight to you?

  April 22, 2009

    I am a professional bulimic. My briefcase is tattered and reaks of dehydration and dizzy spells. When I knock on your door to sell you empty stomachs and cigarrettes, my knuckles knock cold through the wood. My suit is five sizes too big, but if you look at me just right, you'll ...

  Continue Reading...

• Sharp Edge.

  January 11, 2009

    I watched the orange ember sink into the snow. It was the only light I could see, dimming in and out as the cold beneath it seeped through the ashes. It melted slowly through the layers of snow, and soon all I could see was a small dent, and a faint light of orange…

  Continue Reading...

• Vodka and Orange Juice.

  November 9, 2008

    She fed me vodka and orange juice all night. The camera appeared infront of us, letting the vodka take the picture. The picture revealed my heavy eyes and drunken smile. Her tongue stuck out and her eyes where wide and unfocused. "Don't worry, baby. You didn't pick the wrong crow...

  Continue Reading...