Use to write here years ago. It's nice to be back again. Newly single as I screwed things up with my bf. He was kinda helpful about letting it happen as well. We just can't get our sh&t together, so maybe if I write out my issues we can finally get past some things...

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why od…why…

November 22, 2013
Took me 3 tries JUST to log in here. That's depressing. This was once an amazing place. I can't take the constant time outs and losing all my stuff. Took forever just to post a comment. :( Still writing over at the new place & reading people here. Go here to see my updates... https://www...
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Recent Entries

  • Moving day…
    October 25, 2013
    Well, I have decided to move over to the new place, Prosebox.net. I am writing under the same pen name problemthinker I just can't take the slowness of this place anymore. I have put all my entries at the new place & will continue to write there until OD decides to get their sh*t together.&he...
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  • A new day….
    October 23, 2013
    As each day goes by, I guess it gets a bit easier. The thing that hurts the most is the thought of him with the girl. How he can move on so easily after ten years. Everything has always been so easy for him because his parents enable him. He never *really* needed to worry…
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  • Sad endings
    October 22, 2013
    Today, My heart bleeds. It has been a pretty rough day for me. I have 8 elastics around my wrist, and each time I *think* about him with another girl, I snap em. I guess it helps a little. I have definitely been thinking about it less. And I have red marks all over my…
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  • It is over. We are done for good.
    October 21, 2013
    We are done. He promised me he would not text that girl first. He lied. He promised he would not "engage" in texts with her. He lied. He told me that he would let me know whenever they did text - cause I deserved to know.  He told me... Turns out that He and she…
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  • The slow healing process….
    October 19, 2013
    Well, all is quiet on the home front I guess. My bf came down Saturday to see my grandson & hang out with me. It was nice, not too stressed. I felt a bit of tension - but not a huge amount, so it was doable. We had a good time making pizza, trying to…
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  • Things are looking better.
    October 18, 2013
    It is amazing how fast things can change. Not that my bf and I are "totally" together... yet. But things are looking much better, hopeful actually. On Thursday, (10/17) I texted him and asked him if he could bring a list of things to talk about. (We had agreed that he would be coming do...
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  • Nobody to blame, but myself.
    October 15, 2013
    I think it is safe to say that my bf and I are still broken up. And, after ten years of this relationship.. it is over. This is all my fault. I told him for months we were not doing well, then I started telling him that we should separate and see others... Nothing I…
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  • Better – today…sorta
    October 14, 2013
    I guess things are looking a bit better for my bf and I. Sorta anyways. I was home from work yesterday, and we started texting a bit during the day. We got a bit of talk/texting done and we decided that he could come up for a few hours so 1. - we could talk…
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  • 10/14/2013
    October 13, 2013
    It's kind of nice to be back here. It's given me a sense of peacefulness I guess you could say. When I first met my bf (who I am having issues with) ten years ago, I was still writing here...! I had left an abusive relationship that I was in for almost 20 years, went…
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