Recent Entries

• Prayer

  August 27, 2024

  Today is my day off. I woke up in a decent mood, but being around Him, it quickly tanked. My heart and mind have taken such a beating since our marriage began. What was I thinking marrying this man? I am so disappointed in everything. Nothing has panned out like I thought it would. I…

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• Hard Winter

  August 26, 2024

  It’s been a week or so since I’ve been able to journal. My days are morphing together. One day seems like the longest day ever. The last months have grinded by. I feel every second of time pass in it’s entirety. I am in a hard Winter season of my life.

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• Lone Weekend

  August 17, 2024

  It’s 3:13 AM, and I’m sitting at the bar top at work after finishing my closing duties. I had a decent night. I will be driving home soon, and will finish my entry in the comfort of my backyard decompression area. I worked again with Kevin, my favorite, plus the other nighttime bartender. I made&...

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• Shuffleboard

  August 16, 2024

  It is 3:20 in the morning. I just got home from another night shift at the bar. It was great. On Thursdays, we have a shuffleboard tournament. It starts at 8 PM, and brings in regulars and newbies. I was cooking tonight, which I love to do (except at home), but it wasn’t too busy.…

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• Rollercoaster

  August 15, 2024

  I had a decent night at work. I got home at a good time, too, just a little before 3 am. I was seriously anxious arriving home. I never know what will upset Him. When I got home, I quickly showered and dried my hair. I got into bed as he was still sleeping. He…

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• Cookin’

  August 15, 2024

  I’m writing from work. I’m cooking tonight so I do r have to babysit the drinkers. I’m grateful as I am in a foul mood. Things with Him have gotten so bad. I ended up sleeping at a friend’s house, crying myself to sleep in a strange place. It started when I met him for…

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• Formally Known As

  August 13, 2024

  I married him in March of this year. I’ve waited to change my name, because I was very apprehensive of such a big change. Our marriage has not been a happy, stable or enjoyable one. It seemed like our issue this morning was small. But after so many months and years of things being difficult,…

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• A Lone Rose

  August 10, 2024

  It’s 4:37 in the morning. I had a wonderful shift. I got an opportunity tonight that I don’t normally get. I was able to be left alone at the bar after everyone else had gone home. This is a privilege that I’ve had since I was given keys to the joint about two weeks ago,…

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• 6:30 pm – 4 am

  August 9, 2024

  I work tonight. I actually totally love my job. I bar back and bartend at a local dive bar. I enjoy so many different aspects of the job. My favorite part is likely the social aspect I love talking and laughing with people. The worst part are the hours. I go in around 6:30 PM…

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