Recent Entries

• i hate this

  March 10, 2022

  fuck. i’m going to kill my self. i want to kill my self. no one likes me. everyone is just acting. pretending. fuck. i need to die. i want to die. please just let me fucking die. what the fuck am i gonna do. my girlfriend doesn’t like me. i just know it. it’s different.…

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• check in

  March 1, 2022

  haven’t posted for awhile, thought i’d update. i self harmed yesterday, broke my three day streak. fuck that. i plan to do it again soon too. why do i even have i am sober? i cant wear short sleeves now, even tho i doesn’t show, even the slightest movement and boom! freak alert! i wore…

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• clean for a whole day?

  February 24, 2022

  (TW!! GRAPHIC WORDS, IMAGERY, SH/ED) (i’m not crossing it out this time bc i don’t feel like it) i haven’t self harmed today. i’m proud? idk honestly. i didn’t go to school at all bc my stomach didn’t feel well. it’s not like anyone actually believed me, but they acted like they did. i take…

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• hanging with friends when u self harm

  February 23, 2022

  i feel like trash. i’m eating out with my friends and my leg where i recently cut is KILLING me. i did it fast this morning and didn’t have time for after care so i just slapped a bandaid on it. i’m an idiot. i excused myself to the restroom and took off the bandaid…

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• im in love?

  February 21, 2022

  shes beautiful. her laugh gives me the widest smile. her face is the prettiest i've seen. her words are delicate and fill me with joy. her embrace makes me calm. the happiest i've been. when we embrace, i make sure to put a stupid song on the playlist in the background. for us to laugh…

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• my life since depression

  February 21, 2022

  (TW: a lot of shit) fuck this i always get so scared to write out how i feel bc i think SOMEONE is watching me but idgaf anymore bc i need to get this out. i am a genderfluid lesbian (afab). and i hate everything. i got diagnosed with depression in august 2021. right when…

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• i hate this

  February 21, 2022

  i've been feeling like shit lately. i haven't been taking my meds so that's probably why. why do i have to feel like this. i just made up a whole other life. olivia smith. pet dog chocolate lab named ruby. age 25 birthday july 21st. i made her a whole gmail for this. idk. ig…

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