I am married and still trying to figure life out. I need to vent and get many things off my chest. I have been through a lot and even though I have lots of support there are still many things I feel I cannot share and things I need to get off my chest without being judged directly.

Latest Entry

You Got This!!

November 17, 2024
That is what everyone is saying to me. You got this! You got this! You got this! If only I believed in myself as much as everybody else did. I mean of course many of those people could just be fake as they don’t really know me and are just being polite. But maybe they…
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Recent Entries

  • אני קושית יפה/I’m a Cute Black Girl Pg 103
    November 17, 2024
    It is funny how one...or at least me...runs to the father when or  or . Right now..like many other times in the recent year or so I am feeling totally lost and not sure where to call out for help. Maybe I am just too embarrassed to ask for help and pray that just by giving more of…
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  • Being Alone
    November 16, 2024
    Seems like I don’t like being alone. A huge reason why I left my previous job was because I felt so alone there…now in this job…besides HR and my boss finding issues with me…I feel so alone there….and now I am sitting watching rugby alone and I feel so depressed being alone. I am so…
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  • I Had a Dream…
    November 9, 2024
    I wonder if my dream is the same as the Great Martin Luther King? I dreamt that the world had finally been filled with love. no more… Last night my Bio mom called to me, feeling upset about all the poison that has been found in foods and drinks resulting in kids being hospitalised and…
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  • Post Dated: Pay Day Booze Binge!
    November 9, 2024
    I come home to a husband who has been drinking! Explains to me that the building manager bought them both a drink   (he claims to only have started drinking Vodka after I introduced it to him and explained how you won't get a hang over after drinking it OF COURSE DON'T MIX IT WITH OTHER ALCOHOL B...
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  • Take! Take! Take
    November 5, 2024
    I am feeling like a punching bag. Okay not literally but these days all I get from my husband is badgering and requests...sometimes demanding stuff and when I don't to his liking...  (although according to him he hasn't been sulking, just been busy with his stock-broke training (never mind the ha...
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  • Doing and Being Good!
    November 3, 2024
    In today's world and life it’s so easy to be a cold person and hard and just stick to your own routine and live for yourself. Especially when you don’t have kids... But I have come to realize, although I often forget, that being a loving me and helping others and being considerate and giving than...
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  • Post Dated: Feeling at Peace
    November 3, 2024
    After the tornado I feel like I have been living my life in, the last few weeks, I am feeling at peace today. Actually woke up and held husband for a bit wanting to feel love and warmth. with the idea of having to go into my new job. Kinda felt and had a Don’t know…
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  • Post Dated: Back Tracking
    November 3, 2024
    I woke up in the middle of the morning to PS4 blaring in the bedroom. I mean I did fall asleep to my husband playing…but now the game was on pause and I didn’t know where he was. I walked around the flat and all was dark…I looked out the window and his car was gone. I…
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  • Post Dated: Trust
    November 3, 2024
    THE ITALICS IS PRESENT...BUT THIS IS A POST A DRAFTED IN SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER. Yes I love him. But do I trust him? Honestly I am not sure…    Things are tough for us and I am doing everything possible to keep the lights on and food in our belly and smiles on our faces.    I…
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