Recent Entries

• gearing up for needed change

  December 26, 2023

  with christmas behind now, my mind is busy with figuring out to go forward; how to live differently than i've lived this last year (and the difficult ones before it too).  my new books come on thursday, so i'm hoping to get some reading in before the new year approaches, so that i feel like…

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• unexpected gifts

  December 26, 2023

  christmas morning with my daughter and the baby was sweet.  we piled all the presents up and around the baby for pictures before we began opening.  it was cute to see just her little face peeking out of the presents.  my daughter opened the things i bought for theia, and i opened the things that&...

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• a very different christmas

  December 25, 2023

  i woke up around 5 am this morning to a very quiet house, as the baby and my daughter are not awake yet.  so i allowed myself to lay in bed for a while and feel the immediate sadness that surrounded me knowing i won't see the other grands on christmas this year.  this month…

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• unhealthy reminders

  December 24, 2023

  i have quite the list of things to accomplish today, including housework, laundry and cooking, all while watching and tending to my little grand daughter while my daughter works.  but i have begun the morning with some quiet time before my daughter and the baby are even awake, with some quiet tim...

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• where or how to begin

  December 23, 2023

  i think this past week has been a mixed bag for me.  the struggles were/are:   that i'm facing this christmas without my older four grandchilden, and so mailing them cards with gift cards in them, just reminded me how cheated i feel in this area, how much i miss them, how much it hurts. &hel...

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• frustrated with myself

  December 17, 2023

  today, even tho i was busy, so was my mind.  i have days like this, where thoughts continuously cycle, like some sort of storm swirling inside me, and i can't really grasp any one thought to properly work thru it, so it's more like thoughts richocheting around in my head.  nothing really gets wor...

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• yoga

  December 17, 2023

  it is tough to get ones mind in the place of beginning anew somehow, during holiday seasons when so much is reminders of what has been, and is no longer.  but i am making the effort to remind myself of what i HAVE, and to bask in that, rather than lose myself in thoughts of…

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• turning the page

  December 16, 2023

  mistakes.  regrets.  deep disappointments.  all consuming anger.  many losses...in many different ways.  soul crushing estrangements.  a kind of heartache, that can't be described with my own words.  a sea of sadness that i've nearly drowned in.  a limbo of confusion and waiting...   for som...

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