Recent Entries

• 6 ft Deep

  September 30, 2009

        I just wrote about 3 paragraphs and erased them all because I realize how pathetic I am, and I'm in a proactive attempt to cleanse it for good out of my system.   I've had a LOT of setbacks in my quest for, I dont know, self-adoration maybe?  I've bee...

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• Heart Sick

  September 6, 2009

        I hate the late nights when I'm alone, and all I want to do is pick up that phone and text the one person I know doesn't really want to (or care to) hear from me.  I have others who wouldnt mind hearing from me, but for some obscure reason the only person ...

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• 2 years later.

  August 18, 2009

    I got tired of writing myspace blogs.  So, I deleted my profile and randomly remembered about this account I haven't written in for so long.   It was bittersweet reading the old entries of my previous relationship.  Sweet to read the fumbling thoughts of a naive girl, a...

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• A Good Day

  October 13, 2007

    So far today's a good "up" day.  2 nights ago when I took the first pill was a different story, though.  I took the first Zoloft at 10:30 and fell asleep around 12:50.  I abruptly woke up at 3:50 feeling very alert and paranoid.  I paced the house for about 5 ...

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• So Much to Deal With

  October 11, 2007

        After 9 years I finally told my parents that I think I have symptoms of depression and anxiety.  Normally I try to just put the pieces back together myself, but this break up was way too hard and I can't do it alone anymore.  I was very surprised with the react...

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• No More Waiting

  October 8, 2007

  no need to wait anymore....   last night he crushed everything good I had inside me.  I was still his scapegoat for all of his insecurities, and he made me feel so insignificant.  I don't know what to feel right now.   I feel lost and afraid. 

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• Shame

  October 6, 2007

         My heart still aches, but it feels more hollow now than the suffocating feeling I was getting a few days ago.  I feel as though I'm approaching my own funeral the way the 10th lurks on my calendar just begging to be erased.  Dead man walking...isn't that ...

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• Longest 10 Days of My Life

  October 1, 2007

     The recent ex and I have been trying to do the "friend" thing while we're on a "break".  Of course it didn't work.  Sunday we were on instant messenger simultaneously, I tried to refrain from speaking to him and much to my surprise he messaged first with...

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• That’s What Family’s For

  September 29, 2007

       My grandmother just called me.  She basically gave me a much needed chewing out for the way I've been dealing with this break up.  We're very close and once she found out from my mom that I was single again, she called me up to save me from the depressed funk th...

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