Recent Entries

• Oh wait, I care.

  September 11, 2012

  My alarm clock went off this morning and my first thought was, "Hey, I could reasonably say that I feel rested." My second thought was, "Hey, I am not horridly depressed! I feel okay!" Within ten minutes (of laying there pushing snooze for no reason) my thoughts had ...

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• Weaving is fun, and I am enjoying myself.

  August 24, 2012

  I've been babysitting today, for our landlords' son, a boy M's age. We met up around eleven-thirty and they dropped us off at the Children's Museum, which is SO cool. I did my best to stop and be present as often as I remembered to. Because it really was nice. Wet clay, engaged children, and…

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• I hear it is supposed to be freeing and energizing

  August 23, 2012

  I am starting to think that it is me. I mean, I've felt that before obviously. I don't know. I just have NO lasting relationships. Well, not NONE, I guess... but you know what I mean. Memories of my teens and twenties are littered with now-defunct friendships. It may very well be that I don'...

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• You want the way it makes you feel

  August 23, 2012

  I would say today was slightly better, in that I don't, you know, feel like a complete failure and brat. I just finished reading the book Women, Food, and God and man, does that hit dead-on. I had to stop and dog-ear a page where she wrote something along the lines of, "You don't actually&he...

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• A Mound of Flowers

  November 4, 2011

  M's at OMSI with the landlords/neighbors/whoever and I am supposed to be cleaning and unpacking. So far I'm lounging. Lame. Watching Skate Canada. So tired. I eat like utter crap. Probably why I feel so blaaaahhhhhhh. Went to pizza with the L/N/Ws last night and then their hot tub with the wife. ...

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• Stupid Banana

  November 3, 2011

  On the bus to work/school and having the dumbest-ever argument with M about finishing a stupid banana. The kid will probably never eat a banana again. Being poor enough that it is this important to me that my son finishes a piece of produce he requested is SO STUPID. And last night I was clipping...

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• Pack it in

  November 2, 2011

  Today I want to give up. I harbor escapist fantasies and chastise myself. I should have married him when I was twenty-one. Maybe we wouldn't have made it, or maybe we could have grown up together. And this is not even about him. This is about having a stupid job where I should absolutely shine,&h...

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• Before Work

  November 1, 2011

  I'm sitting in the cafeteria at work, enjoying some ice water and Halloween candy before my shift starts. M requested a story, Bingo, when I dropped him off in his class. There are so many good things about this job. I don't know. Where do my feelings stand with B? I think there is only…

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• One False Move

  October 31, 2011

  So, November. I spent the day mostly at a Barnes & Noble using the free wi-fi to try and fix the financial ruins of my life. Lots of dead ends and a teeny bit accomplished. Applied for a second job due to a garnishment on a very old debt, older than seven years, which is…

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